tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post3404112093443452682..comments2023-11-03T08:13:04.072-04:00Comments on anabegins: Coping Anahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00006807775816627217noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post-27897663641343899272015-07-30T20:06:30.612-04:002015-07-30T20:06:30.612-04:00I know this is old now but I have to chime in. I T...I know this is old now but I have to chime in. I TOTALLY get this. For some I can see how it'd be relaxing, but internet for me quickly becomes addictive/compulsive and the amount of time I spend on it is not relaxing. It becomes mindless and I can't stop :( to me this is different to tv where I can watch a 30 minute show, zone out, recharge and then be done with it. <br /><br />Your therapist's comment reminds me of when a close family member had a mental health crisis, all the doctors kept commenting on how well he was coping, whereas the family knew how off the wall and serious things were. The therapist was used to really serious issues (homelessness, drug abuse) so the actual situation barely registered. <br />the Frugal Ecologisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05007753245445039830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post-52472691503679108862015-07-29T16:51:23.840-04:002015-07-29T16:51:23.840-04:00If they make you feel happy, then its a good activ...If they make you feel happy, then its a good activity for you. I think that's the distinction.Anahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00006807775816627217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post-70399382624104709432015-07-29T13:25:02.556-04:002015-07-29T13:25:02.556-04:00I play games on my phone. Tons of games. Huge am...I play games on my phone. Tons of games. Huge amounts of time-wasting games. Except that I see them as my down time, my recharging time. They make me happy, and while I often feel empty when I look at the clock and realize how much time I have spent on a word find, I also feel like I need that time to do these somewhat mindless tasks. Even things like Hay Day are about keeping order, doing tasks, keeping my farm neat (as my house falls apart!).Lollipop Goldsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post-63137675694845331612015-07-29T12:34:59.022-04:002015-07-29T12:34:59.022-04:00Yeah. The first time I did acupuncture they hit a...Yeah. The first time I did acupuncture they hit a spot on my head that was, I would later learn, exactly like taking valium. I walked out of there completely focused and calm. I've tried finding it on my own with no success....gwinnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04840990153103781272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post-87621638945410405252015-07-29T11:24:43.410-04:002015-07-29T11:24:43.410-04:00yup, the "bright line rules" really work...yup, the "bright line rules" really work better for me than just saying "I'm going to drink less during weekdays". I can't really do that. so I'll try to just not drink at all on weekdays. <br />And yes EXACTLY your second paragraph. There is a certain amount of time that is refreshing & relaxing (like right now), but the diminishing returns kick in after a while, yet I CAN'T STOP. Its definitely some sort of brain chemistry related addiction when you know you need to stop but you CAN'T and that is what I'm talking about.Anahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00006807775816627217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post-62224789486554700932015-07-29T11:21:44.158-04:002015-07-29T11:21:44.158-04:00holy hell, I took a xanax once and it was terrifyi...holy hell, I took a xanax once and it was terrifyingly amazing. like, everything i've been working on with self-talk/mantras/therapy but never achieved just suddenly HAPPENED within 5 minutes of swallowing that pill. really scary. Anahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00006807775816627217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post-35721474594599249842015-07-29T11:20:16.471-04:002015-07-29T11:20:16.471-04:00thanks for sharing the story about quitting smokin...thanks for sharing the story about quitting smoking. that was exactly what I was thinking about when I wrote that last part---most people do end up having to quit multiple times until it sticks for life. <br />For weight---I try to pick certain things to abstain from completely. It doesn't always stick (I always revert back to late night snacking), but certain things do (I NEVER went back to eating crap people bring into the lab).<br />I think I'm still trying to get into my groove at work, and I haven't really established myself as productive/successful enough to feel OK with that degree of downtime. IF/when I get more publications/grants and a steady record of success, I may feel justified working in that manner. Anahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00006807775816627217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post-17716737542919317062015-07-29T11:17:28.317-04:002015-07-29T11:17:28.317-04:00hmmm. so, I see distraction absolutely as a techni...hmmm. so, I see distraction absolutely as a technique to avoid/cope with stress---to disconnect, like you said. You don't need to disconnect when things are the way you want them be...only when reality doesn't match your desires/expectations. Anahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00006807775816627217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post-2171366925474540842015-07-29T11:15:49.508-04:002015-07-29T11:15:49.508-04:00I think what you're describing sounds relaxing...I think what you're describing sounds relaxing and healthy. Vs. an anxiety-fueled hour of scrolling mindlessly instead of doing something productive.Anahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00006807775816627217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post-90626295657833478832015-07-29T08:33:45.808-04:002015-07-29T08:33:45.808-04:00I think it's totally fine as a coping mechanis...I think it's totally fine as a coping mechanism. I'm not sure why it's gotten a bad rap. On fb I connect with friends, get updates on people's lives, get advice or share experiences, read news articles or learn new facts. Sometimes I am on there when I should be doing other things, but that's true for any relaxation tool and probably a sign that I genuinely enjoy it. I think if you are always trying to be virtuous in your relaxation, it probably won't be all that relaxing. Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07335915683875653154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post-18995344538575956022015-07-29T02:15:18.058-04:002015-07-29T02:15:18.058-04:00I'm still pondering this. I think for me being...I'm still pondering this. I think for me being on my phone/internetting is not so much about stress reduction but is a habit I engage in to distract myself. I only really mind it when it's clearly keeping me from my kids, which is happening a lot this summer. My daughter is always telling me to put down my phone (and I want to tell her maybe I would if she weren't so horrible to be around! but I don't, and that is the only thing I'm doing right at the moment). Anyway, I guess I'm saying that if you're really doing it to reduce your stress, then I think it's okay. Hmmmm, maybe I am doing it to relieve stress too. I mean, nothing is more stressful than being with my kids, maybe I do use it as a way to disconnect from the stress of that moment, so I can come back renewed, or at least neutral (instead of in a negative place). I never thought about that before. I'm going to start thinking more about when I use it, mentally taking note of if I feel stressed when I pull it out. If I am using it to destress, I'll have to decide if I still think it's an okay coping mechanism... ;)Noemihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12792217151905218101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post-25874771021575095502015-07-29T01:36:56.991-04:002015-07-29T01:36:56.991-04:00I used to smoke quite heavily, and quit a few time...I used to smoke quite heavily, and quit a few times. The first time it stuck was when I got pregnant with kid No 1. I had a good reason and thought it was for good. Then amidst some marital turmoil I started again when he was about 3 and smoked until he was about 4.5; I started my TT faculty position in a cold climate a few months prior, and I just got sick of myself - the amount of planning it took to go out for a smoke without my new colleagues seeing and judging me, then the fact that it was November and my butt was freezing, just led to a point where I was so sick of it all I just quit and never looked back. It's been 11 years and I haven't had a cigarette since. <br /><br />I have also been trying to lose weight, that is much harder to do as I can't go cold turkey and I can't not <br /><br />As for the internet, I consider it perfectly approved procrastination. <br />I myself am a binge worker and can do huge amounts of work when I am at the top of my game; that also means I have to have downtime. And let's face it -- as cute as kids are, they are darn exhausting. I am thinking that as long as essential things get done and I am not harming anyone, why not fart around on the web? <br /><br />I know we are supposed to be productive all the time, and if not productive then virtuous while at leisure nonetheless (reading, gardening, whathaveyou), but I don't think that's realistic. I wouldn't beat myself too much over your web activities. I mean -- I don't do facebook or twitter, how bad could I be compared to others? xykademiqzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18306861394466282929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post-37881195902201378492015-07-28T20:03:24.797-04:002015-07-28T20:03:24.797-04:00This is interesting. I remember a line from my th...This is interesting. I remember a line from my therapist when I was ttc: "I don't care if you clean your bathroom as long as you find some way to relax." To each her own.<br /><br />I do turn to the internet when I can't focus on work...but in the end I think it makes me more anxious. Walking is the best cure for me. And I suppose yoga is good but when I'm THAT stressed I can't really sit still. I've had two occasions in recent weeks I actually took a little xanax (it was prescribed for sleep) and found I could concentrate much better. That worried me, but it worked.gwinnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04840990153103781272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219236556397495909.post-22960123010428954022015-07-28T17:28:48.030-04:002015-07-28T17:28:48.030-04:00Usually I contemplate quitting something (say, bee...Usually I contemplate quitting something (say, beer during the week, or iPhone games), and contemplate some more, and then one day just go cold turkey. Delete the game. Stop drinking beer (I seem to be able to have it in my house and not drink it), and I don't even think about it. But that's just me, I guess some people hate going cold turkey. I just find that if I try to cut back, the amount creeps up again. <br /><br />And I wanted to say that I am with you on the huge amounts of time wasting on the internet. A little time will often relax me (like if I spend it blogging and I get interesting/helpful comments), but after a while I get this feeling that I want to put down the internet device and I just can't seem to rip myself away from it. It's not good, and YES there are other, way better things I could be doing with my 20 minutes of free time a day. OMDGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17937425894428802591noreply@blogger.com