For What Its Worth...

I've thought about posting here, many times. Just never felt motivated enough to actually do it. Its been a fun, full couple of weeks. I am, however, starting to feel a little underlying anxiety about our upcoming long-ass trip to MIL. Its just such a long time to spend together, without the distraction of work and our usual activities at home. I can do anything for 11 days, I can do anything for 11 days,... This mantra got me through tough months in residency, call stretches in fellowship, and many many MIL visits!

Operation Moderation has been a resounding...failure. Not that I'm not moderating. The execution is going pretty well, despite many outings and occasions. Its the OUTCOME that is sub-optimal. I just keep gaining. Now my freaking pajama pants feel uncomfortably tight! I'm pretty sure it is related to the P@xil but I'm not sure what to do about it, besides eat less and less. I'm thinking of tabling this whole thing until January, because holidays/family stress and "dieting" don't mix well for me. Add hangry to the usual frustrations and you've got a disaster waiting to happen.

We had B's 7th birthday party last weekend. Lego Ninjago was the theme, and we had super cute Ninjago cupcakes (that i made & G decorated), a Ninjago pinata, and 45 minutes of karate facilitated by the instructors at the studio B goes to for karate/after-school care. The highlight for all the kids was getting to kick a wooden board in half. Man they were so proud, it was adorable. A lot of his classmates showed up, and some other friends. We had a box of wine for the adults, and plenty of pizza. A good time was had by all. I think we throw good parties. Low-key, low-budget, good fun. The kids were talking about it in the drop off line Monday morning, so clearly it was a hit.

I usually look forward to the fresh clean slate of a new year, but for some reason 2017 is not calling to me. I mean, this was a remarkably shitty year for me personally and as a citizen of the world. I wish I could feel hopeful that next year will be better---and the threshold is set pretty damn low here---but it seems like the world is falling apart around us, spiraling downward faster than I can blink. I will focus on my own little corner and the small ways I can help and then try my best to be present and enjoy the journey. I can do anything for 1461 days...just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Last week

As usual I'm late to the game, and I'll write about my weekend/last week on Tuesday morning.

In some ways it was just a typical quiet weekend at home, but in other ways it was awesome. Just a great combination of stuff. Friday night I had my work holiday party, which I left early to meet some friends for our annual holiday drinks. I got to really practice my moderation. The holiday party was meh but meeting up with friends was amazing.

Saturday I went for a brisk 5 mile run, decorated our house for the holidays with the boys, played endless board games, decluttered a bunch of stuff from our basement, & did 5 loads of laundry, and then went to B's karate belt ceremony. He was SO PROUD to get his yellow belt and didn't even complain about sitting for 2+ hours watching all the older kids get their belts/demo moves/receive long-winded personalized acknowledgements from the teacher. They had cookies, chips, and juice afterwards which also helped. G and I had a "date night in" with pizza & beer after the kids went to bed. I couldn't sleep at night so I drank wine & finished my book (Alain de Botton, the Course of Love...MUST READ with spot-on insights about dating, marriage, and parenting).

Sunday I did a killer HIIT workout at the gym. Helped the kids with a "project" (home made mixed-media birthday cards for grandma). More board games. A park trip. And lots of cooking/food prep. Also lots of yelling at the kids. They had been whining & fighting ALL WEEKEND and I couldn't take it.

This week has been OK so far. I'm going to a short, close-by study group meeting this evening (after dinner), and will be back Thursday by dinnertime. I am planning to enjoy the short break from the whining/fighting and hopefully return with more patience. We are getting lots of RSVPs to B's birthday party and will have to work on prep this weekend (including making another pinata! This time out of cardboard, because papier mache is messy in the house and its too cold to do in the backyard!) I have to figure out what to get L for Christmas (we already picked out some board games, Lego kits and books for B's birthday & Christmas presents). I was going to bake holiday cookies with the boys, but we are getting a sitter for Saturday night to go out with friends and she is bringing over cookie dough as an activity! Outsourcing, woot!