When you can't breathe...

Soon after I hit post yesterday, I had one of the scariest hours I've experienced. G called me to tell me that water was rising up the driveway in MIL's house and neighbors were going to help them leave, using a KAYAK (!!!!) to navigate the flooded streets to a van waiting nearby that would take them to a family member's home a few miles away.

I gave them about an hour to undertake this mission (and thankfully had a scheduled catch-up phone date with a friend/collaborator) and then began to call. And MIL's phone isn't working. So I called the aunt who's house they were going to---no answer. And then I freaked the fuck out because OMFG. I called my parents, texted my sister, and then had no idea what to do while I waited.

So I turned on a podcast, found a long ignored addictive game on my phone, and opened up some cheese puffs and distracted my way through the hour or so until MIL finally called me (they are completely fine).

Guys, this is so hard. I'm doing the absolutely necessary things at work and home, and trying to exercise/meditate/sleep/eat well, but I've also been spending LOADS of time on social media (including facebook, which has been a good way to keep up with what's going, since I have lots of friends/"friends" near where the kids are and also keep people updated & get support), and overall wasting time and drinking more wine than I should.

I did get a lot of things on my list done, and had thankfully planned a lot of outings for this week, because the last thing I need is MORE time to sit at home & fret. But man, it has not been the least bit relaxing and I'm farther behind then ever at work.

Oh, and please donate to hurricane relief AND (or) efforts to reduce the impacts of climate change. Because we know there is no government looking out for us in any regard at all.

Breathing

They are OK. No flooding in the house as of last night, but its still raining for the foreseeable future and they can't actually LEAVE the house, so hopefully provisions last.

G changed his flights and will hopefully hopefully fingers crossed go on Saturday morning and bring them to the beach Sunday. I am keeping my flights and will go on Friday as scheduled. I can fret on the beach, with my parents, as well as I can fret here.

I'm feeling much calmer today. Got a lot of work stuff crossed off the list this morning which helps with that frantic sense of overwhelm. I skipped my work out and slept in, which I desperately needed, too.

Things that are helping me stay sane: exercise & walking, friends, music & podcasts, G's optimism. Also....wine. Had a very fun evening out with good friend yesterday and it just felt good, though the wine did catch up to me (explains the sleeping in this morning).

Everything is going to be OK.

What was I saying about raining and pouring?

It was a gorgeous weekend here. And instead of relaxing and enjoying it, I spent the weekend in a frenzy of chores and activity to keep my mind off the fact that my children are 1000 miles away from us in a freaking hurricane. 

They are safe and sound and hyped up on sugar and screentime and the sense of adventure. But I'm not going to relax until I hold them again. G was supposed to get them on Thursday and bring them to our beach vacation with my parents this weekend. But I don't think he's going to be able to get in/out of there safely until later this weekend. And there may be another "tropical weather condition" affecting the beach locale. So yeah.

Instead of working on the thing that's due on Thursday I've been reading GoT recaps all over the internet, and refreshing facebook and the weather reports incessantly. Summer 2017 has been kicking my ass from every angle. I sort of want school to start and to get back into our boring, predictable, contained in a 1-mile radius life.

We left our hearts...

The kids are with MIL for the next 11 days. G and I got home Saturday night after a pretty busy and not-quite-relaxing week with all of us together. I feel like we should REALLY TAKE ADVANTAGE of our kid-free time, and yet, we have nothing major planned.

I feel like I've been given an incredible opportunity that I don't want to squander away.

Things I want to do (other than the usual "catch-up and hopefully get ahead on work" list that is miles long after a week away).

• Cook a few fancy meals for the two of us
• Visit 2 summer beer gardens
• Harvest and do something with the overgrown herbs in the backyard (suggestions for what to do with basil that isn't pesto? How about oregano, sage, and thyme?)
• Re-organize the boys clothes for the school year and fill any wardrobe holes
• Massive de-clutter of clothes & toys and give away/donate (i.e. get the hell out of my house) everything
• 2 outings with friends
• Use restaurant gift card for low-key dinner out
• Buy myself some new pants for work (its SO FREEZING in our clinic space that I can't wear my standby of dresses/skirts until I can add tights again, and now that I'm there for full days, its a quality of life issue!) Current pants are all too big! I will keep them for sure, but now I wish I didn't get rid of all my old ones when I gained weight)
• Try a couple of workout classes: BodyCombat at the gym, beginner yoga, SolidCore  and try some evening workouts too for the days I have to get into work too early to workout
• Think through some ideas/changes for our new routine this fall. With L starting KG and aftercare, new activity schedules, and my new work schedule, we are going to need to shake-up our mornings/evenings some. I want to streamline dinner so we can actually just PLAY and hang out in the evenings and come up with ways to further decrease the "chore footprint" on the weekends so we can relax

Writing it all out makes it seem pretty ambitious, actually. I'll report back on the 31st.

When it rains it f'ing pours

In the past 10 days we have dealt with:

• Lice
• Fleas
• Basement flooding
• B getting stitches on  his face (this is happening right now, G took him to urgent care)

All this on the backdrop of the kids constantly fighting and whining, and me doing full days of clinic every other day.

And of course we have to pack our shit up and fly to visit MIL tomorrow morning.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK

The Wind Down

Those 5 weeks of summer are coming to an end. They have been more challenging than I expected. Parenting has been kicking our asses the past few months. Hopefully its just a phase. I've been looking forward for 2 years to the boys being in school together again, and now I'm terrified that it'll be fighting and whining at drop-off and pick up every day.

I did have an amazing, much-needed break, when I spent 4 days visiting friends at the end of July. I didn't have to worry about ANYONE ELSE. No one's wants, needs, feelings, resentments. I felt so loved and cared for by my awesome friends. We drank and talked late into the night, and I spilled everything and got so much support. It was like therapy. I should try to do it more often.

The changes at work have been tough, too. I haven't quite gotten into a groove with my new schedule. The clinic days are busy and go fast, but I feel like I don't have enough uninterrupted time on the research days to really get going on anything. I may need to move around my clinic schedule so I can have 2-3 days in a row, since there is a lot of start-up energy required to get my head in the game of writing.

We are leaving this weekend to visit MIL. I'm the usual stressed about it, but also somewhat looking forward to a bit of a break from our daily routine. Its not going to be FUN but hopefully it can be a little relaxing. At the very least we can just leave the kids and go watch a movie or something.