I can't believe its been two weeks! I feel like last week was a complete loss. There has been so much going on at work and home and my head is all over the place. I finally took a moment this morning for some short/mid/long term planning and I feel a lot more in control of things.
One major happening: our beloved 13-year-old pup had major surgery last week to remove an aggressive tumor from her front leg. It was rough for a couple days while she recovered (she was moaning constantly, needed to be carried, and needed frequent meds) and she is still hobbling along on 3 feet (the leg is bandaged to her torso so she won't put pressure on it or bend it and the joint can heal) but is in good spirits and able to get up and down the stairs herself to go out. G worked from home most of last week and even this week she had 2 vet appointments.
The bad news is that they didn't get clean margins, and we need to decide if we want to to radiation therapy---which is about an hour away (the equipment at the MAJOR vet hospital near my work is out of commission for who knows how long and the only other one in the region is not close to the city) and which she would need daily for about 4 weeks. The other option is amputation (!). Or comfort care since the chances of recurrence at one year are pretty high. Its a tough decision, and I've been reading up on veterinary oncology literature about survival rates and side effects... We are trying to get a consultation with an oncologist for more data and guidance, but apparently we need to start radiation within weeks and there are no appointments to see the doctor for MONTHS.
Honestly we are ready to spend whatever time and money if it would help her without causing excessive pain or discomfort because besides this (which actually was causing no symptoms yet, but was rapidly growing), she is really healthy and happy and loving her life of sofa sleeping and following us around for belly rubs and treats. We are already trying to work out how we could logistically do it. Oh its a tough decision and taking up a lot of my brain space and also making me sad.
I was also struggling with figuring out how to get B on medications after our pediatrician surprisingly told me that he doesn't prescribe ADHD meds and that I'd have to see another doctor in the practice who does all the ADHD evals and treatments. He is developmental peds trained and they just set up their practice so that he has a certain clinic a couple of times a month focused specifically on ADHD. Unfortunately his 1st available was after the school year ended and I was not OK with that, I really wanted to go through the trial/error period and find something that works during this school year, with teachers that know him and can help us figure out if its making a difference. We would take the summer off from meds anyways, so it makes no sense to go in June.
Guys, I did something I've never done before and raised a bit of a fuss (politely but directly told them I was very disappointed, most general pediatricians do prescribe meds and that was what I was expecting, and this seems unacceptable to me and is making me consider switching practices after almost 10 years of working with them) and he added us on this Friday. I had to move patients around (and apparently they were pissed, even though I'm seeing them the same day, just earlier!) but I'm going to take him because G never knows how to ask the right questions and be assertive and gets flustered, which is understandable. Again, taking up brain space and emotionally draining.
Besides all that and more on the home front (finalizing summer plans and still working on booking travel/flights) work has been ridiculously busy with more clinical time than usual PLUS several paper revisions/edits coming in and gearing up for June grant submission while still trying to juggle all the other little things that keep piling up. I am going to take
SHU's concept of "admin time" and just ignore the little things until a specific block of time next week where I will work my way through them.
And lets not forget about the news, and my growing disillusionment that we will choose a winning candidate and uselessly trying to predict the future, which is taking up the last bit of brain space I had left and then some.
Of course, as usual during stressful/anxious times I've been checking out way too much on the phone (social media/games/news) and also distracting myself with the easy dopamine fixes of food, alcohol, and online shopping (I needed a spring coat! and a swimsuit! and new jeans since my Roadtrippers are literally wearing out from near-daily wear). I woke up today vowing to use better coping mechanisms so this morning I did a BeachBody workout, meditated, downloaded a fluffy book on my phone to read tonight instead of scrolling until I fall asleep, and wrote this post.
I go away for 2 weeks and come back with a novella. Ha. Back soon (-er or later).
