The pressure is on. I have a big grant deadline in...gulp...three weeks. And I'll let you in on my shameful secret...I haven't started writing. Well, revising, really, its a resubmission. But a substantial amount of re-writing is required. And none of it is done. Its a "career development" grant, so it also requires letters of recommendation and mentorship letters...all of which I'm expected to "draft" (i.e. write) and I haven't done those either.
The thing is, I just haven't been able to carve out the time to work on this. I'm doing a lot of experiments for preliminary data, some of which are quite promising and should strengthen the application (yeah!), but they are worthless unless I have a well-written proposal in which to showcase them. But the bulk of my time is spent in meetings, clinical duties, and other projects that just HAPPEN to be coming to a head at the same exact time (and you can't put off live human or murine subjects for your convenience). So my work days are full.
That leaves the rest of my time, my "free" time. Evenings and weekends, early mornings. But after getting home & taking care of dinners, bedtime, & chores from 6-9pm, I'm done. I've tried working and just can't get anything substantial accomplished. I could probably push through late nights & less sleep for a couple of days, but sleep deprivation for days/weeks is not feasible for me and would probably backfire as I'd be less productive during the day. Plus I'd be a total bitch.
Weekends are even more impossible these days. It is really hard for either of us to manage both boys on our own...they are just both at a very difficult physical and emotional stage. So we try to stay together as much as possible. Yes, G could give me some time to work if I asked for it, but it would require a level of forethought and planning I haven't yet applied to the problem.
But the grant isn't going to write itself, and hours aren't magically going to appear in my day so I need a strategy. I've come up with a few options and I'll see what works best:
a) 8:30-9:30 PM weekdays. this would involve cleaning up & making lunches AS we're eating dinner, but may be doable most days. Also I am pretty braindead at night.
b) 5-6AM weekdays. if I go to bed at 9 or 10 I should be able to get up and mornings are a good time for me to focus. its just so disgustingly early. And sometimes L wakes up before 6. Its a crap shoot. I'd hate to get up and settle into work and have to feed him breakfast instead (if I'm still in bed, I can roll over and let G take care of it)
c) 2 hour time slots on the weekend. this could work but needs to be very carefully & specifically planned & re-planned and reminded about for it to actually happen. Ideally this time would be in the morning or late afternoon (times that are better for me, motivation-wise). Having time right after lunch would be stupid, for example, I'm in a big slump then & I generally avoid intellectual work.
Any other ideas? Inspiring stories of grants written in 5 days and funded? Time Turner I can borrow?
If G is willing to feed L breakfast when you're still sleeping, couldn't he also feed him breakfast while you're working on the grant? 5 to 6 am sounds brutally unpleasant; I must admit that I'm glad it's you and not me. Hope you find a way to make it all work without going too insane.
ReplyDeleteYes! This is what I was going to suggest, only SD beat me to it. Good luck!
Deleteits complicated, but basically if I am in bed, L will come sleep with me for a while and G can take the dog out. Or I get up and get L breakfast while he takes the dog out. Or I take the dog out. but basically one person watches L while another takes the dog out.
DeleteAaaaiiiii! This is rough. Really rough. I guess the only real equivalent to a time-turner is paid help. Could you guys find the cash for a baby sitter for a few weekends so you can make some major progress and then fill in the bits during these other slots? It just seems like a few days of solid work would be...well, horrible, when you'd probably rather be with your family...but more effective than a lot of little pieces.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good idea. It just ---seems--- weird to hire someone to watch our kids even MORE than 9-5 5x a week (even though its not weird at all)
DeleteI'm sure if I asked G, he'd say "no no, I can do it", but then he wouldn't do it (or he'd bitch & moan so much I couldn't stand it). Cash is not the issue, we have had a horrendous time finding a sitter at all, but I need to look into this option.
Can you extend your current sitter to do 8am-6pm instead? That's an extra hour on each side. (or 7-5 or 9-7, etc?)
DeleteI also vote for sitting down with hubby and talking to him directly about what you need and why. It may cut down on the bitch and moan part?
I hear you, ana. How about this: sit G down and tell him what you need him to do. And when the weekend comes, commit to getting yourself out of the house by 7, or just before the kids get up, so you're not tempted to just stay home. And then find something to reward G (and yourself) with later.
DeleteAnandi we use daycare actually, & G does the drop off and pick ups, so there isn't more to give there. OMDG, yes, I need to sit down with him and come up with a solid laid in stone plan. I think you know how things get "forgotten", though, sometimes.
DeleteSounds familiar. Also, I totally get the dog issue too, as we have a similar arrangement.
DeleteDoes the dog do daycare? Any chance you could pop the dog in the car with you on your way out the door at 7AM on the way to work, and leave G with the kids? I think Central Bark is open on Saturdays.
I know getting lots of suggestions can sometimes be annoying, so please let me know if that's happening here and I will stop.
No we don't do doggie day care. We also don't have a car (really). But no, not annoying, I like to hear what people think! I need to do a whole post about our logistics/how we arrange our day...after grant goes in.
DeleteI know a well-funded scientist who says that a grant can be written in a week -- it's a horrible week of 14 hour days, but a week. That's for a start-to-finish new grant, though, not a revision.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion is to essentially take the next two weeks off from being a mother/wife/member of your household and delegate everything to G and/or paid help. DH and I have both had our turns doing that during crunch times. It's tough on the person picking up the slack, but those couple of weeks are a big investment in your career and, by extension, the well-being of the whole family.
Also, anything at work that you can possibly hand off or delegate or postpone will really help.
Good luck!
I know I need to do that. I need to recognize that my career is important enough to justify being MIA for a couple of weeks. Why is this so hard for me to do? And I'm the primary breadwinner in our family. I think its some kind of twisted female/mother/housekeeper thing...I have no problem giving G time for work.
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