Well I'm back. I got my grant in, and then went through the usual cliched existential crisis. You know the one---our protagonist is going through a particularly challenging and busy time. She is working herself to the bone and missing out on what she perceives to be all kinds of fun. She dreams wistfully of said challenge finally coming to an end, upon which the world will erupt in rainbows and butterflies and life will be amazing. The challenge ends. No rainbows. No butterflies. Certainly no "amazing". Just the usual mix of mundane and suck. She wallows briefly wailing "what's the point !" but then moves on to find beauty in the mundane and joy in the suck. And life goes on.
Until the next challenge comes up. Which for me was last week's marathon 7 days of consults and Total Thanksgiving Coverage. For the 4 days of the long-weekend I left the house at 7:30 and returned between 2:30-4pm, after rounding on 20+ patients per day (and the myriad extended family that was able to come visit for the holidays and all needed full updates & their list of questions answered!) and writing 30+ notes per day in our spanking new EMR.
Those keeping track may realize that, yes, I was away for the majority of my childrens' waking hours. So G had his own marathon. It is finally over. Cue the rainbows and butterflies....
I am also waiting for my own butterflies and rainbows. THERE! THERE THEY ARE! JUST OVER THERE! next week! next month! next year! after training! five years after that!
ReplyDeleteoh god.
I had butterflies and rainbows when I finished my core clerkships. It's been downhill ever since.
ReplyDeleteWOW. That sounds like a lot of intensity, and I congratulate you on getting through it all, and particularly on getting the grant in. BIG HIGH FIVES. The letdown is a bummer--we just did this grueling trip and I was so looking forward to getting home, and then I get home and am immediately cranky because of all the home life cranky bs... so I feel you in my way.
ReplyDelete