I didn't really mean to disappear. Nothing changed or happened, I was just spending my time doing other things---reading books, becoming addicted to a stupid i-phone game, taking the kids to the park after work, reading more books, on-line shopping, and trying to get through Season 7 of the West Wing. So...pretty much status quo.
I'm so relieved that its finally spring. Even though its been in the 30s the past few mornings, requiring winter coats, at least its light out. There are finally some cherry blossoms in bloom, and weeds are poking through in our planters. Its time to schedule the dreaded garden store run (either we all go, and its chaos, or G goes and I watch the kids for 4 hours straight).
I had a pretty easy weekend of call. Both days I was out of here by 11AM...which was a mixed blessing. I got all the stress of early morning rounds PLUS all the child-care and chores of a normal weekend. And no chance to go for a run (or have a glass of wine) to relieve the stress of it all.
I'm still working on my resolutions for the year. I think I'll be working on them for months, if not years, if not the rest of my life. The things we struggle with, I think they are always struggles in some ways. Hopefully the tiny changes I'm making now will help things be a bit smoother down the road, though.
I've noticed that its about the choices I make. Not the big sweeping ones, like who to marry or where to live...but the tiny ones, like how to react to B hitting L in the face, or G leaving the dishes for me to wash when I also put the kids to bed. How to handle being 20 minutes late in the morning and the kids are still dawdling, or exhausted at night and they want "one more story mommy!". How to respond to the annoying email, or answer the same question the 5th time from a concerned patient. Lots and lots of little choices throughout the course of a day. I hope to choose right more often.
Every day I wake up and make the conscious decision to try to do the right thing. And then when I fail (I always do, in big or small ways), I decide to try again.