Money Dumb

When it comes to money and finances, I am an idiot. I used to believe I was "good with money" because I was cheap frugal and saved a ton. It was pretty easy to do when I was single and had limited expenses, and pretty much everyone I knew was in a similar situation. I've been thinking a lot about our finances recently. This post is pretty long, but it is helping me work through this in my head and I'm hoping to create external accountability for my goals.

Despite the upward swing in my discretionary spending lately, though, I still don't spend that much money. I shop at pretty middle-of-the-road retailers and always wait for sales, I'm not blowing $100s ($1000s?) on designer bags or shoes. Its hard to spend THAT MUCH at Ann Taylor Loft when they are always having 50% everything sales. I bring my lunch to work every day. We eat at restaurants maybe 2-3 times a month, and get take-out similarly 1-2 times a month. I have no expensive hobbies (my hobby is reading books that I get free from the library) and I'm not into gadgets or home decor. I get my haircut twice a year, color it at home with drugstore kits, and paint my own nails if I'm in the mood. I'll get my eyebrows waxed every couple of months or before an event ($12). I have virtually no social life, other than book club meetings rotating at member's houses every couple of months and an occasional 1-2 glasses of wine out with a friend (maybe twice a year we get around to it). We don't travel except to visit relatives, so the only cost involved is airfare. I work out at the Y where we have a family membership or I run outside with my dog.

Where I tend to spend on clothes/shoes, G buys lots of media (movies and music). Mostly cheap/used, but sometimes new. I don't know what it all adds up to, since its "Amazon" on the credit card bill. He also tends towards new and expensive hobbies every few years. Currently its woodworking. He bought a ton or equipment and tools this year on that. If he continues, and gets good enough to build some stuff for our house (or even for it to be a fulfilling lifelong hobby) it would be worthwhile. Other than those (admittedly pretty big) things, he doesn't spend much else.

We don't spend a ton on our kids, either. They are in a fairly low cost daycare (for the area). We are members of the Y and do swimming classes for a modest cost. They each will pick one other activity this year. This year was the first time I actually bought toys for the boys---in the past we had so much stuff from relatives we didn't need too---now that they are older and have specific interests, I'm trying to encourage those. We get most books from the library, but I'll buy one hardcover book every few months to add to our library. L wears B's hand-me-downs unless they've fallen apart---basically this means he gets new pants & shoes every year. B gets new clothes for each season (i.e. he got 5T winter clothes recently, and will get 5T summer clothes in 6 months)---these are ALL from Old Navy with 30-40% off or Children's Place. Tops generally $3-8, bottoms $8-15. He needs new shoes every 6 months. We don't skimp on shoes, usually $35-50. No impulse clothes purchases have ever occurred for the boys!

We don't have: a car, cable, landline phone.

There are some areas I'm sure PF bloggers would tell us we could do better on:

• Our grocery bills are pretty high. There really aren't low cost options nearby so we either shop at TJs, WF, or delivery (which is also expensive). I don't skimp on groceries, mostly because we eat most meals at home and we send all the boys' food to daycare (they don't provide meals or snacks). We go through a LOT of fruit and vegetables every week which is pricey. We don't eat much meat. I sometimes buy fancy cheese so we can have a "date night" in. We drink wine/beer/liquor at home which some might consider an unnecessary expense (vs. water).
• We have contracts and data plans on our (3 year old) smartphones (vs cheaper pre-paid options).
• We have a dog, with the resultant expenses (boarding when we're away being the biggest, also she had surgery recently and whoa!)
• We have a house cleaner come every other week.

So where is the "dumb" factor coming in? A few major things:

1) I have a huge pile of money in a savings account and in CDs. I haven't invested it. It is doing nothing for us earning <0.5% interest.
2) This is a big one and I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I think we got suckered into buying more life insurance (and I also have longterm disability insurance) than we need. A LOT of our paychecks gets direct deposited into these things. I've had the LTD insurance for about 7 years, and we've had the life insurance for 5 years. I don't know how to figure out if its "too much" or not.
3) I thought I was putting 15% into my 401K. Turns out I wasn't. I just realized this last month and upped it from 5% to 10% with plans to go to 15% when things smooth out after the holidays.
4) I have no idea how my Roth IRA, traditional IRA, 403b (from residency employer) or current 401K are invested.
5) I do stupid things with credit cards, like getting new airline cards to get the sign up bonus, but then forget to spend the requisite amount to GET the bonus, and then forget to cancel before the year's annual fee is due (this just happened).
6) Last year (2013) I completely forgot to submit receipts for our dependent care FSA and we lost $1800. LOST IT.

 What I want to do about these issues in 2015:
1) Invest all but $10K emergency fund. Where, how, I dunno. Deadline April.
2) Figure out and possibly decrease our life and LTD  policies. Again, not sure how. Anyone know who could tell us the answer to this? Deadline March.
3) Obviously, increase 401K contribution to 15% next month. Deadline Janaury.
4) Get together all my accounts, figure out where they are invested, and change those choices if it makes sense to change them (though I first need to learn what the best choice is!)  Deadline May.
5) If I decide to get new credit cards for incentives, put dates and actions to do into my calendar. I actually successfully did this with the United Credit Card. I got the card, put in my calendar to charge $1000 (and what to charge it on and when) in my calendar, and did it. I also put in the calendar to look for the bonus miles and when to call if they aren't there. And the date I need to cancel the card to avoid the annual fee. Ongoing.
6) This was added to my calendar, as well. I actually already submitted 3 months daycare bills already, which covers the entire academic year FSA maximum (its ridiculous, isn't it?) Ongoing.

Help me:
Investing books or guides?
Guides for how much life insurance one needs? (or how to figure this out). Guides for how to GET OUT of a life insurance policy, or reduce it, while minimizing penalties?

I want to be money smart by 2016.