Thanks for your comment on the last post. The bribing is going...OK. I only take them to school 2-3 times a week, and apparently they are better for G, so the consistency is hard to maintain. Morning are still stressful and awful, but at least I am yelling less since I just take away their "check" which they can then cash in for...something as yet undetermined after they earn 5 (for getting ready when asked, and not hitting each other while they do it).
We are strongly (almost 100%) going to try B on a stimulant for ADHD. Its become VERY obvious that it is affecting his performance at school and leading to lots of stress and anger and even some self-esteem issues for him. Both teachers have brought up his lack of focus, need for additional time for assignments, and utter disorganization many times. We have adapted his IEP for accommodations (reminders, extra time, seating away from distractions) which haven't seemed to make much difference. He often forgets to bring things home or turn them in, loses things a LOT (his violin!), and makes careless mistakes. He can't really concentrate at karate or basketball either---and he likes both of those! He is a bright kid and we want to give him every chance to succeed. He has his annual appointment at the pediatrician next week and I'm going to bring it up. I've heard so many positive stories from parents, and though there are certainly negative experiences, the general consensus is that it helps many kids. We are also looking into therapy for coping mechanisms for him, but I'm afraid that with the weekly social skills group it'll be too much. He has hated any one-on-one therapy we've ever done and he's only gotten more stubborn and ornery with time. Any advice is certainly welcome!
Speaking of brains needing help, I'm still trying to find a therapist accepting new patients and conveniently located! I called a whole list of places my gyn gave me and they all said to call back (next week, next month, next season). The need is so great, I guess. I'm hoping to get into someone before the next major stressful event (a 3 week MIL visit) in later March, so I can work on coping mechanisms besides escaping into social media and...wine.
I've been having to back off on one my favorite stress-relievers, intense exercise, because something is wrong with my right shoulder and many things irritate it, especially push ups and side planks, which seem to be involved in every class I enjoy (HIIT, body pump, barre). Given that long runs and spinning bother my lower back (it doesn't hurt unless I do certain things, so I just...don't do those things anymore), I am having trouble finding good options. I've been doing Beach Body 21 day fix workouts at home and just skipping/modifying things, which I find easier to do when I'm at home myself than in a class (I have this weird desire to "do well" and not look like I'm slacking).
I was on a GREAT run of reading fantastic books for a while---I read 6 fairly long novels in February when everything seemed to become available at once from the library. And then...it ended, and I haven't read anything for over a week, because the only book I have is just not captivating. Its 100% true, if you have a good book, you will find and even MAKE time to read! I think I need to give up on the one I'm reading but it feels so wrong (because its Obama's Dreams From My Father! I should be loving it! I just...am not). Our library doesn't have the audio version which I know I'd enjoy much more unfortunately. I think I'll have to decide its just not the time for that book for me right now and move on.
I'm very very late in the line for Nine Perfect Strangers, The Great Alone, Evicted, and several others. Any more book recs for me?
In reference to your mention of coping mechanisms, I thought I'd pass along a resource that's been really helpful to me. Brooke Castillo has a podcast called The Life Coach School. She focuses a lot on our thoughts about things, instead of our circumstances. It's been a game changer for me so thought I'd share. She also has a paid membership program that while expensive ($297/month!) has been worth every.single penny. Even if you didn't do the paid program, the podcast is so helpful as well. Just a thought! Hugs to you today :)
ReplyDeleteI little out of my league in terms of $$$ but I'll check out the podcast for sure!
Delete$297 a month? Wha????
ReplyDeleteA good friend of mine had a really good experience when her 8-year-old daughter was started on ADHD treatment. She went from hating school so much that she cried every morning to looking forward to it and saying that she loves her teacher. I hope you'll have a similarly positive experience with B.
In terms of books...I've had a really good run of them recently. In particular, I've liked Quiver, All the Light you Cannot See, Young Jane Young, and She Wants It. I gave up on Dreams from my Father reeeealy quickly, so you aren't alone in not being excited about it.
I've read All the Light and Young Jane Young but adding the others to my list!
DeleteThat's a funny coincidence. I was having trouble getting into Michelle Obama's memoir (also, I wanted to much to like it!). The audio helped enormously. Once I started listening, I went back and forth between print and audio.
ReplyDelete*I hurt my hip recently and hobble from my car to my office considering a cane and taking the elevator up one floor.....no! Wtf im 45
ReplyDelete* I worked with kids for years with behavioral health issues and while not an easy decision as a parent, they are so helpful. And this from a woman who regrets not getting on her antidepressant sooner....shakes head, all those wasted years.
*I’ve apparently forgotten how to read....can’t remember the last time I read a good book. But I apparently have the time to binge watch Russian Doll and Good Girls
*Finally, part of my job here in Massachusetts involves connecting folks with therapists and psychiatrists....welp there’s always a long wait. And ya know want else? Those providers are burnt out and looking for services too! F-ing sucks
*good luck with everything
Anoninmass
thanks. I waited way too long to be medicated for my anxiety, too. And yes, I'm sure there is burn out, its a tough tough field.
DeleteBad Blood!
ReplyDeletethanks! that one has been on my holds FOREVER (>6 month wait)
DeleteEducated
ReplyDeleteTwo Steps Forward
The Dakota Winters
Meet Me At The Museum
A River of Stars
All You Can Ever Know
Bruno: Chief of Police (France/food/community/Comfort read).
Great post mate, thank you for the valuable and useful information. Keep up the good work! FYI, please check these depression, stress and anxiety related articles:
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