Friday, June 8, 2012

Body Woes

I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that my body has irrecoverably changed with my last pregnancy. I think it was getting pregnant again so soon, before I got back into shape after my first pregnancy. I gained a lot of weight quickly, right up front, and my ab muscles split. They are still split 8 months later, despite running & ab exercises (I heard you weren't supposed to do crunches, so I've been doing planks, and standing ab workouts). So I have this weird pooch thing under my belly with lots of wrinkly leftover skin. It looks exactly like a prune. I keep thinking of "prune belly syndrome" whenever I look down. Since its mostly spare skin, and the muscles underneath are...gone (?)...I can't "suck it in", it just hangs there, protruding from my clothes. Ick.
If it was just a little pooch of fat, with regular taut skin over it, it would be no big deal---really. But this just really really bothers me. Even physically, it feels uncomfortable, pushing through or over my clothes. Buying larger pants doesn't help---they just fall off me, because the rest of me (even the rest of my abdomen) is the same, its just this concentrated area right up front under my navel.
I've seen this on women, and I know it doesn't necessarily go away with time. Women I know who had large babies, twins, or pregnancies in their mid-late 30s tend to get it more often & its generally a permanent thing (though I don't know specifically how hard they worked to lose it, I imagine they were---like me---bothered but not enough to devote hours a day to tackling it).
So, while I'm going to continue exercising & eating well for general health, I really don't see the point torturing myself trying to "fix" this if its not fix-able. I realize this sounds incredibly whiny and vain, but I've been frustrated by this issue for the past 5 months, since I lost the majority of baby weight and this area didn't go with it. Whenever I see a mom rocking a flat stomach I get insanely jealous. I just need to come to terms with it, and move on. Which works fine until the next time I look in the mirror or try to wear anything but my PJs. I've heard "spanx" are great for this. Sigh.

9 comments:

  1. It's not whiny or vain. God forbid you care about your appearance, for heaven's sake!
    FWIW, you probably look 100% better than you think you do.

    My skin is looser over the lower belly area now too, even though I don't have many stretch marks, and even though I am now below my pre-pregnancy weight. It ain't gonna go away probably ever, and I'm not thrilled about it.

    This is why god invented tummy tucks. I don't think I'd do it given the present state of my abdomen, but if I had another baby and it got much worse I'd seriously consider it. Why? Because it affects how my clothes fit. As you point out, there's not a heck of a lot exercise/diet can do about the loose skin that hangs out over your waistband, and it's not very attractive.

    There is NOTHING wrong with caring about your appearance. Problems only arise when you start obsessing / self flagellating.

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    1. Did you know tummy tucks cost (on average) $10K? (yes, I've looked it up!). I think I'll focus right now on finding more flattering clothes. And unfortunately I think I do actually look as bad as I think I do...I was asking a friend (who used to be a personal trainer) for advice and she recommended spanx (ouch!)

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    2. I actually did know that.

      I agree, it's not something a majority of people are willing to pay for, but it seems pretty cheap to me considering it's surgery, given the cost of most medical things in this country!

      I don't know if I would ever do it myself... When I was 16 I was complaining about my nose and my mom said, "You know, if you really wanted, you *could* get a nose job." After she said that, I decided that I didn't mind my nose that much after all.

      :-P

      *sigh*

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    3. Yes, in perspective of medical things the price is reasonable, just one that would be a huge investment for us. I KNOW G would NOT think it a worthwhile use of our hard-earned money, and I can probably think of other things that I'd rather do with that amount of cash, too...

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  2. Another prune-belly here. And I go to the Y every day, run, etc. etc.

    I think at some point, we have to accept ourselves for what we are. You don't need spanx. Spanx are for making us feel like we're less beautiful than we are. Spanx feed our self-deprecation. I think flattering clothes are a better option ... trying to find ways to be positive about your appearance! I struggle with this ... and I consider it a work in progress. :)

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    1. I basically agree, though I don't think I'll completely rule out Spanx for a special occasion dress...definitely not for every day, that just sounds punishing, like corsets or something.

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  3. I think of my post-twin dangling belly skin as Shar Pei rather than prune. And I don't think it's going anywhere no matter what I do (not that I do anything to try to get rid of it), short of surgery. And yes clothes are a major problem. But truly I wouldn't trade it for anything, because the fact that my belly got as big as it did means that I was able to keep the twins from being born for as long as I did. I've never had a flat stomach my whole life, but even if I got one now, it wouldn't feel like nearly as much of an accomplishment as getting those babies past 33 weeks.

    I have to remind myself of that when I am at the store trying on pants, ugh, horrors. Or putting on an old shirt that now looks hideous. The trade was worth it.

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    1. I admire & envy your attitude, but I can't seem to internalize it for myself...maybe if I'd had twins or really big babies it'd seem to me like more of an accomplishment...I just had average-sized singletons, so (I know this is ridiculous) I feel like I don't have an "excuse"...as if our bodies need "excuses" to do what they're going to do. Basically I'm still working on my attitude/mindset about this...

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  4. Ai yi yi. It's hard to face the reality of a permanently changed body. I know we're supposed to just get over it, given the wonder of the miracle of life and whatnot, but it happens so fast. One day you've got Body A, and it feels like just a few months later, Body B is suddenly there to stay. My husband is whining because his hair is starting thin and I just want to smack him. I'm guessing some of the changes to mine will continue to bother me until I'm old and saggy and withered all over and have bigger worries.

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