Thank you all for the advice, you are amazing and generous with your experience and your wisdom.
I actually did make a few concrete steps today:
Figured out what Behavior Health coverage plan I have
Called Benefits Center after spending too much time searching our on-line benefits site and NOT FINDING any information on said coverage plan (phone numbers, working web site)
Signed in on-line so I could search providers
Screened many potential therapists, googling each one to see if they had pictures, websites, or listings in psychology_today.
Emailed one "nice looking" and close by provider asking her exactly what I asked you guys.
Got her response: essentially, its reasonable to come on your own and we can decide whether couples therapy is right for you. Call me to discuss.
Let's see when/if I actually call her.
She has a website with a "method" for couples counseling that she uses, only I know nothing about these methods and not sure it would be a good fit. Anyone know anything about "EFT" (emotionally focused therapy)?
In other news, the boys' daycare is closed tomorrow and I decided that I'd take the day off (no, this is not the martyr game, it actually gets me out of several extremely unpleasant work obligations, whoo!) I actually had grand plans for spending the day out and about exploring the city and soaking up the last of summer. But B came home acting weird...102.8 fever. And now I am starting to feel a bit achy and woozy. L had it Monday & Tuesday and G just got over it (some kind of 48-hour fever/tired thing).
It may be a play at home and let kids watch movies kind of day. They won't care.