I've noticed a tendency in myself to get easily flustered by even the tiniest of hiccups. I don't when I got so rigid and obsessed with schedules and plans....I used to be spontaneous and fun. I could blame it on parenthood, but really, a lot of things that freak me out have absolutely nothing to do with the kids.
I do know that certain things make it worse---sleep-deprivation, being hungry, being physically uncomfortable. All of those things make me more likely to flip when the plan changes. I also know that I don't like where this is going. G finds it baffling and I'm sure the boys would prefer me to a bit more laid back (or they will, when they get older).
There was an incident last week (after a night of literally no sleep with L pawing all over me for 6 hours) where G's cousin was coming over for dinner...instead of coming at 6:15, she came to our neighborhood and went to get a drink at a nearby bar at 4:45. I had to go to the grocery store and pick up pizza for the boys and take out the dog...and had timed it so I'd be home by 6:15. When I got G's text at 5:05 (when I was still in my office) that she was there and could I please text her as soon as I got home, I got so frazzled that I forgot half the items I needed at the grocery store and was literally running with my bags and coat to the pizza place. When I finally made it home by 5:50 and texted the cousin, she was all "oh, I'm still working on my wine here, I'll be there around 6:15".
I mean, really, who cares if she's sitting at the bar twiddling her thumbs for an hour. Or that the meeting was shifted by a half an hour without any prior notification. Or that the dog took twice as long doing her business this evening and dinner wasn't ready by 6:15. Or that G decided to take the kids to Whole Foods for dinner on the way home because they were sooooo hunnnngggry. Or that I need to turn in another revision to the IRB because of one word that I inadvertently left in when I changed an aspect of the protocol. Or any of the million little and unavoidable things that happen in the course of a day that throw off a carefully planned schedule.
I'm not sure why I'm writing about this. Maybe because seeing it written out in black and white drives home how ridiculous this is? I already know that. I think its mostly because I could use a fail safe trick for how to prevent my blood pressure from rising next time I'm confronted with a miniscule molehill.