Saturday, January 25, 2014

So how am I doing...

Did I say I would update on my resolutions in 2 weeks? Has it been more than 2 weeks since I said that? Yes and yes. We have been completely out of our routine with sick days (B had strep...again...and it was a terrible 72-96 hours of fevers 104+ and all day/night crying) and snow days (we've already had 3.5 days this winter!), and some kind of low-grade lingering illness that G and I both have that has left us utterly too exhausted to do anything but the absolute necessities.

Anyways, here I am on another call weekend, sneaking 20 minutes to myself before I head home. Yes HOME! As compared to November's 8+ hours of rounding, we finished today in TWO HOURS. And then I went to my office and quickly finished all my notes.

So here are some updates and insights on my progress in my 3 "foundation" categories:

Marriage
We have been sticking to our once a week "couple time", though Friday has never worked out. This weekend may be a wash, though, with sick and call. But we can try.
I have not said "nothing" when asked what was wrong. We did have one fight, last Tuesday as we were walking to work and we continued it after getting home because I was still upset. I think we resolved it maturely, instead of me saying "nothing", I was clear that I was upset and we sat down to discuss it after the kids went to bed.
I am doing the hugging more often than not.
I have not rolled my eyes (at G...I still roll my eyes about stuff)
Obviously no date night.

In the heat of our terrible fight on New Years Day, G spit out "you're not perfect, you know!", and I replied "of course I know that! I'm working on lots of things"...but in really being honest with myself, I did somewhat believe that I was, if not perfect, better than him in terms of behavior in our relationship. I admit I was a bit smug, thinking I was so self-aware and self-improving just because I was actively trying to change some of my patterns, but it didn't occur to me that maybe the things I was trying to change weren't the most important ones to him. Not fun to realize your own faults, but  an essential part of growing up.
Parenting
Oh this one is a fail. I'm still yelling, I have been doing more school pick up. I ditched all the parent-board stuff due to work and sickness. We are planning soccer for B in the spring. I've read nothing and the thought of "special breakfasts" is making me laugh in a "what the hell was I thinking" kind of way. 

Career  
I am doing the weekly planning. Time tracking was not helpful, but more "qualitative evaluation" was invaluable. I have a slew of insights about my unproductivity but will save that for another post, since...
 
I'm going to meet my boys at the dinosaur museum now!

6 comments:

  1. I'm glad to see this update and that life is churning along with attention to that which needs attending.

    I am interested to know how you are feeling about where things are and where you feel they are headed...

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  2. I'd add Dinosaur Museum to the pluses in the parenting column, right? I enjoyed reading your update. Sorry about the illnesses and hope that all clears up. 104 degree fever would freak me the heck out.

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  3. I'm so impressed that you're managing to make any changes, on any front, particularly in the middle of perpetual sickness. I tend to think that I'm superior for trying harder than my husband seems to be, and hey, maybe I am, but I guess your approach is healthier, because when did smugness ever do a marriage good?

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  4. 104 is *almost* high enough for our pediatrician to take notice. Strong work getting through that. Hope you all feel better soon.

    I have also been guilty of thinking I am the better spouse. Lately I've been trying to notice when I'm being a b****,pointing it out to my husband, and apologizing. It doesn't necessarily stop my bad behavior, but I think my husband appreciates that I realize that he's not the only bad guy.

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  5. Me: Just so you know, I don't think I'm the better spouse.
    DH: I didn't realize it was a contest.
    Me: I think you're winning. No, wait! If you're the better spouse then I think that means I'm winning.
    DH: . . .
    Me: Go me!

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  6. FANTASTIC to get an easy call weekend! i am intrigued about the unproductivity insights. AND, don't give up on the breakfasts yet :) maybe everyone just has to be a little older, and not sick!

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