Saturday, January 25, 2014

So how am I doing...

Did I say I would update on my resolutions in 2 weeks? Has it been more than 2 weeks since I said that? Yes and yes. We have been completely out of our routine with sick days (B had strep...again...and it was a terrible 72-96 hours of fevers 104+ and all day/night crying) and snow days (we've already had 3.5 days this winter!), and some kind of low-grade lingering illness that G and I both have that has left us utterly too exhausted to do anything but the absolute necessities.

Anyways, here I am on another call weekend, sneaking 20 minutes to myself before I head home. Yes HOME! As compared to November's 8+ hours of rounding, we finished today in TWO HOURS. And then I went to my office and quickly finished all my notes.

So here are some updates and insights on my progress in my 3 "foundation" categories:

We have been sticking to our once a week "couple time", though Friday has never worked out. This weekend may be a wash, though, with sick and call. But we can try.
I have not said "nothing" when asked what was wrong. We did have one fight, last Tuesday as we were walking to work and we continued it after getting home because I was still upset. I think we resolved it maturely, instead of me saying "nothing", I was clear that I was upset and we sat down to discuss it after the kids went to bed.
I am doing the hugging more often than not.
I have not rolled my eyes (at G...I still roll my eyes about stuff)
Obviously no date night.

In the heat of our terrible fight on New Years Day, G spit out "you're not perfect, you know!", and I replied "of course I know that! I'm working on lots of things"...but in really being honest with myself, I did somewhat believe that I was, if not perfect, better than him in terms of behavior in our relationship. I admit I was a bit smug, thinking I was so self-aware and self-improving just because I was actively trying to change some of my patterns, but it didn't occur to me that maybe the things I was trying to change weren't the most important ones to him. Not fun to realize your own faults, but  an essential part of growing up.
Oh this one is a fail. I'm still yelling, I have been doing more school pick up. I ditched all the parent-board stuff due to work and sickness. We are planning soccer for B in the spring. I've read nothing and the thought of "special breakfasts" is making me laugh in a "what the hell was I thinking" kind of way. 

I am doing the weekly planning. Time tracking was not helpful, but more "qualitative evaluation" was invaluable. I have a slew of insights about my unproductivity but will save that for another post, since...
I'm going to meet my boys at the dinosaur museum now!


  1. I'm glad to see this update and that life is churning along with attention to that which needs attending.

    I am interested to know how you are feeling about where things are and where you feel they are headed...

  2. I'd add Dinosaur Museum to the pluses in the parenting column, right? I enjoyed reading your update. Sorry about the illnesses and hope that all clears up. 104 degree fever would freak me the heck out.

  3. I'm so impressed that you're managing to make any changes, on any front, particularly in the middle of perpetual sickness. I tend to think that I'm superior for trying harder than my husband seems to be, and hey, maybe I am, but I guess your approach is healthier, because when did smugness ever do a marriage good?

  4. 104 is *almost* high enough for our pediatrician to take notice. Strong work getting through that. Hope you all feel better soon.

    I have also been guilty of thinking I am the better spouse. Lately I've been trying to notice when I'm being a b****,pointing it out to my husband, and apologizing. It doesn't necessarily stop my bad behavior, but I think my husband appreciates that I realize that he's not the only bad guy.

  5. Me: Just so you know, I don't think I'm the better spouse.
    DH: I didn't realize it was a contest.
    Me: I think you're winning. No, wait! If you're the better spouse then I think that means I'm winning.
    DH: . . .
    Me: Go me!

  6. FANTASTIC to get an easy call weekend! i am intrigued about the unproductivity insights. AND, don't give up on the breakfasts yet :) maybe everyone just has to be a little older, and not sick!