There's a lot of talk about time these days: making the most of it, or "managing" it to cram more into each of your hours. I know I have the minutes and hours to achieve everything I'd like to in my life, that's not the issue. My issue is energy: physical, mental, and even emotional.
Am I just lazier than others, that seem to be able to work at full tilt 40+ hours a week, take care of their home and families and marriage and friendships and health and and and and… Because I'm struggling to give even the 3 basic foundations of my life the attention they need right now. I wish I could think of a good analogy, but basically the more I give to my marriage and kids, the less there is for my career, or vice versa. I've been putting a lot of effort into improving my relationship with G, and I've been spending a lot of time building bonds with my kids…and my work is decling. For the past couple of years I've been charging ahead at work, and by default, giving a lot of attention and energy to my young kids…and my marriage stagnated.
While I may have reserves of time, I use 100% or more of my energy to get through each day. So when I try to make my life richer or fuller by adding something, that energy has to come from somewhere. And these days its been work. Which is fine in the short term, I'm incredibly lucky to have that flexibility, but will quickly start to become problematic when the publications aren't piling up.
I've tried really hard to strip down what isn't important. I'm trying to take care of myself to optimize the energy I do have, but it really is a zero sum game. Maybe I need some uppers.