I always say goodnight to my kids like this: "Goodnight, I love you, I'll see you in the morning". The "morning" part was obviously a joke for many months, we all knew I'd be seeing them multiple times before morning. When L finally started talking, he liked to jump in and sing-song the "mor...ning" part. One night I was telling him how I'd see him when he woke up and we'd go downstairs and eat oatmeal (which he demands immediately upon arising every morning). So when I said goodnight to him, he substituted "oatmeal" for "morning". (Well, actually he says "annam", which is his own made-up word for "oatmeal") And now that's our thing.
Its been our thing for at least a few months now but I'm sure the days are numbered. In fact, he already switched from "annam" to "oa-mee" and now to perfectly enunciated "oat-meal".
I miss "annam".
I've been struck lately by how fleeting it all is, how impermanent. As much as I look forward to seeing what new and amazing thing is next, I can't help feel a bit wistful for what is already behind us. All the little jokes and rituals---they come and go so quickly that I sometimes never get a chance to savor the sweetness.
Lately I really feel like time is speeding up. Wasn't it just winter? I remember counting down for spring, checking the weather report every day for warmer temperatures and a minute each day of more sunlight. And now spring is more than halfway over? Summer will come and go. L will turn three this fall. THREE. Not a baby anymore at three.
B is four and a half. We have a year and a half before kindergarten. That sounds like a lot, but I know its not. And I've heard it over and over from friends and colleagues that things get infinitely more complicated when you have a kid in school. Our leisurely mornings and unplanned evenings are not going to last forever. Weekends where the kids want to be with us and only us, also limited.
I say this again and again, but I really want to step back from the busyness and enjoy our summer. G and I talked a couple of weeks ago about moving a lot of our weekend chores to the weeknights. Instead of the two of us watching TV while the kids slept, we could get our stuff done and have a chance to relax or have adventures all together on the weekends. I'd like to start implementing that this weekend, its supposed to be a lovely one. We also discussed making a summer fun list---I was shocked that G actually suggested this, its not his way to plan things or to even be excited about any family activities---and I'm going to start on that tonight.
And its not just about the kids. Maybe it came from having another birthday (I'm 38 + 3 days old now, will tell the tale of the horrible birthday another time), but I feel like I've entered another stage in life and I'm ready to embrace it. I want to spend my time and energy a lot more intentionally because I know its not infinite. More on that to come, but I definitely know what I want to weed out of my life, and am considering what (if anything) I want to add in.
I've got about 10 posts lined up, and I'm planning to write a lot more regularly over the next few weeks. So I'll see you all in the...