Spring Mix

So the sun made its brief appearance and disappeared again for the rest of the week. I'm glad I took a moment to enjoy it while it lasted!

So much for "kindness", oh man, I lost it with my kids yesterday. While B is at his usual level of challenging, and I've got strategies for dealing with him, L has really dialed it up to 11 (on a scale of 1-10).  He's usually my "easier" kid, so its super demoralizing when he's in these moods. I know I need to re-read "No Drama Discipline" with L's specific challenges in mind this time (I should actually just be on a continuous loop of re-reading that book, its that good) but I haven't had the energy to read much at night, at least not something so meaty, and I want to take actual notes this time, so I can't just flip through it laying in bed.

Sleep was going really well for a while and suddenly decided to disappear. Two nights in a row I've had lots of trouble falling asleep and the meds aren't helping. I hadn't even NEEDED them for a couple of weeks, I was doing so well! I thought I was cured! I have a follow up with my PMD in a couple of weeks and I'll ask about other options. I think (but I may waffle on this) that I will ask about treating my anxiety overall. I'm afraid, however, than an SSRI will make my sleep worse and cause weight gain. I wish my therapist wasn't on maternity leave! She said she was coming back in July...so I'm not keen on getting started with someone new.

So I finally took a few hours to go through all our credit card/bank statements and reconcile YNAB and whoa. We went over in a LOT of categories last month. Thankfully there were 3 paychecks for G last month, which absorbed most of that. I guess I should have expected it, but I didn't, which is why I like keeping the budget in real-time. In our defense, we had over $600 in medical bills for B's ER visit and testing and therapy, and we bought a new dishwasher. We also, however, had a few dinners/drinks out when MIL was here to babysit, and MIL asked to get pizza several times, and our grocery bill was mysteriously high considering I was away on work travel twice and MIL cooks relatively cheap mostly vegetarian food. Also G bought a bunch of clothes/shoes and I realized I didn't really have a budget set for his clothing (I had one for the kids and one for me, and I figured I would lump his into the kids, but when he spent $200 in one go, that took out the "clothing" budget for the YEAR).

Excesses abounded in every domain, and my pants are tight, too. Resuming reasonable eating and drinking, and fighting the urge for "quick fix" of a few weeks of low-carb or some other unsustainable plan. Hate that my metabolism can't roll with a few weeks of extra carbs without packing on 5 pounds but that is the new reality I have to accept.

Goals for May (now that we are a third of the way done)

• STAY AWAY from my notorious internet time wasters (I know what they are)
• Read and take-notes on No-Drama Discipline key chapters (and post about it!)
• Resume reasonable eating habits, with moderation of carbs and alcohol specifically
• Plan and enjoy Birthday Week, including me-time, family time, and friend time
• 3 month plan and weekly plan at work, including scheduling writing blocks for papers/grants

There are LOTS of other things I need and want to do, but in the interest of simplicity (and not increasing anxiety), I'll keep it small and manageable.