I feel this most keenly around holidays--pretty much all of them. Well, maybe not Memorial Day. There aren't many hopes & dreams pinned on Memorial Day are there? We don't hold these images of the "perfect Memorial Day" in our heads since childhood. Nor are there any obligations on either my part or anyone else's. I like Memorial Day.
The other time I feel it is at the end of a stressful period. I just imagine there will be some sort of celebratory, festive something...but, no. I came home Friday fresh in the triumph of a challenge met and got right to...making dinner.
In actuality, it ended up being quite a lovely weekend. I did indulge myself in a tiny bit of self-pity about all the things that did not go as desired. Strangely, I didn't really have anything concrete in mind for how I wanted the weekend to go, just...differently. Better behaved kids? More agreeable husband? More sunshine? If I don't even know myself what I wanted, how should anyone else? (they just should, that's all. they should simply read deep into the winding crevices of my mixed-up mind)
On a whim I had bought & planted some strawberry plants in a container out back. Yesterday we saw 2 tiny pink&white berries. B was so excited. L lunged immediately to pull them off the stem. I stopped him but he did end up grabbing up half of my chives, and wailed for a couple of minutes in frustration at his thwarted efforts.
It's complicated, life these days. Its really impossible to have a homogeneously "good" moment, much less a whole day. But that would be boring, right? (right?)