Thursday, May 1, 2014

Unsettled

I've become, as I've mentioned, more and more of a creature of habit these days. I remember the days when I'd eagerly anticipate any change from the boring old routines of life, but now I crave the familiar rhythms of our days.  I feel like my energy ebbs and flows so I can keep up with the expected demands of each day. So when the routine is thrown off, I feel...off.

We were traveling last week, in many respects a lovely break, to visit my family and celebrate my father's 70th birthday (it was a surprise, it was actually really awesome to be able to do that for him). There were 4 little kids and the demands therein, but otherwise a complete lack of structure to keep me on track. My mind wandered, I did not exercise at all, I ate terribly, I slept poorly, I read a lot but also wasted a lot of time on stupid internet stuff and silly i-phone games.

The kids had a blast playing with their cousins---for the first time it really seemed that they were building a relationship, with inside jokes and made up games---it melted my heart to see that. But there was also a lot of bad behavior requiring disciplining (and, unfortunately, yelling). They were over-tired, over-sugared, over-stimulated, and thus over-terrible from time to time. I was really sad to leave, I had looked forward to this trip for months, since we first planned it. I was also really looking forward to getting back to our routine for a few days.

We got home Tuesday evening---the kids were fabulous on the plane, L even napped! G went out to get groceries and pick up the dog, and I set the kids up for dinner while I unpacked some, made lunches, cleaned. As I did each task, I felt the pieces settling back into place. By the time the boys were bathed and brushed and snuggled in for stories, I was snapped back together.

But alas, its short-lived. My MIL is coming this Saturday for 3 weeks, and the last week in May we are all 5 going to her city for a family event. Things will be way way way off any kind of routine for 3 and a half weeks. I'm trying to learn to be OK with that.

5 comments:

  1. can you create little pockets of routine in the NONroutine? even if you have to be really intentional about them - like a morning run, watching a show with the kids in the AM or evening, a book before bed, or something? i can definitely understand feeling torn about appreciating a break but really missing the familiar rhythms.

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    1. I concur with this. When our in-laws come, we create a new routing. My FIL walks the dog in the morning, they pick our daughter up from daycare, my MIL makes us dinner and cleans up at night. That sort of thing. It's one of the reasons having them for 3-4 weeks at a time is tolerable. If I had to wait on them (as I do with my own parents) it would make me insane.

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  2. Oh yeah, we are all such creatures of habit here, so travel and visits can really mess things up. We've just taken to becoming those crazy people who stick to the same bedtime for the younger one, regardless of what else is happening. Fortunately the 4yo is more resilient now and can stay up late with fewer ill effects (unless it's a school night, in which case, cue teenagery "I am STILL tired" dramatics in the morning). Good luck to you - maybe you can enlist your MIL to help keep you guys on track :)

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  3. I am definitely a creature of habit, but I also get bored easily, so I really appreciate when things are different, just because different (in my mind) = good. Even if it's not necessarily a good thing, sometimes I just need to shake things up. I'm probably not in the majority on that.

    Having said that, when things are shaken up, I appreciate my old routine even more when I go back to it.

    I'm sorry you have so much going on in the next few weeks. I hope you can steal some time to fall back into parts of your routine, so you don't feel too frazzled.

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  4. I love routines, now more than ever. I feel woefully unprepared for most "adventures", I pack too much, always did, but now it has gained epic proportions, so yeah. When at home, doing our routine, knowing what I have to do most every moment of every day, that is reassuring and nice. At least for now, when I am still tired. I hope it changes soon(ish).

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