This one is much more qualitative and thus harder to measure success vs. failure so I gave myself a wishy-washy grade.
Motherhood
Original intention: fun. I want to infuse my home and family with love and laughter
Grade: B
This deserves a B because I am consciously working on it, but far from perfect. When things start to go awry (in that every-day sort of way, when nothing is really wrong, just whinier, jumpier, and grosser than I'd like), I remind myself to "just have fun". Distraction is a good technique for dealing with kids & adults alike (just ask a certain political party....). And saying "Yes" more often isn't going to turn my kids into deviants. I mean, doesn't music, crackers, or a sticker make everyone's life a little brighter?
My enemy in this is also my dearest ally---my to-do list. There are definitely times (weekday evenings specifically) where I shove aside fun to plow through my chores. I miss my boys all day yet when we all get home I half-ignore them as I rush here & there making lunches, washing bottles, and starting laundry. Sure, all of this can be done after they go to bed but that end-of-the-day alone time is so so precious to me that I try to maximize it by completing the must-dos earlier in the evening...at the expense of giving my full attention to my children.
So I'm going to add to this intention---my motherhood goals will include having fun and focus. And the to-do list gets put on hold from 6-8 pm.
This would be hard for me to do. Even now when I am nursing or playing with D, it's hard not to get distracted by an important email in the inbox, a phone call, the dirty laundry, etc. I try really hard to stay focused on her (it helps that she screeches if I stop paying enough attention to her), but sometimes I can't help but get sucked into other tasks. And THIS is why I worry that I will give my kid an attachment disorder.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! Let us know how it goes.
I definitely don't think its possible (or even healthy) to focus on your kid every single moment you are with them...but I definitely think I can or should be able to relax & really enjoy them for the one hour we get on weekday evenings. I can get my neglecting in during the weekends :)
DeleteOh so hard. How to balance the need to keep everything running smoothly against the need to be present for your family. I guess that's the struggle every parent faces. I'd say I'm actually fully present only a tiny fraction of the time, which is sad, considering how fast it all goes. I hope the new intention pays off.
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