Original Intention: "really come up with a daily time to talk and be together for even 15-20 minutes"
Oh yeah. Total abject FAIL on this one. What happened? What always happens. Things get busy and the status quo prevails. The kids' bed times have crept up later & later. And there is just so much to DO in the evenings...chores, finishing up on work, even fun stuff like reading. Plus I want to get to bed early enough to be able to go running. Ah the excuses. They are infinite.
When I really think about this, though, the major problem with this intention was that it wasn't under my control. Its one of those takes-two-to-tango things. And G doesn't see a problem with the status quo, so if I want to change things, I have to remind, insist, cajole, nag.
Speaking of taking-two-to-tango...well, I didn't articulate this in my Intention post, but I was hoping that daily communication & together-time would also hopefully result in more physical intimacy. Because that? Just not happening these days. In the interest of trying to help someone who may be in the same tango-less boat, I will overcome my humiliation and admit that it's only happened twice this year. Oh, there are all sorts of excuses for this, too, but basically we are busy, we are tired, we've been sick, and we seem to be on opposite schedules as far as interest is concerned.
Anyways. I realize I need to change this intention into something actionable that only involves changing my own behaviors and attitudes, because if there is any life lesson that has really come home lately its the old "you can't change anyone but yourself". I don't have any brilliant ideas here. One thing G often mentions (complains about) is that I am not very affectionate with him---he likes hugs, kisses, back rubs, etc... and I am a bit more physically aloof. So I will aim to affectionately touch him every day, beyond just a quick kiss hello/goodbye.
Another is something I heard on TV once---it was a segment on a talk show, leading up to Valentine's Day about "ways to show your love". Some "marriage expert" recommended doing one thing specifically for your partner every day without telling them about it. I tried it for a while...completing one of "his" chores, cooking his favorite dish, agreeing to the movie he wanted, etc...but my desire for praise & acknowledgement won out & I gave up. Maybe I'll try that again, in the spirit of showing love & gratitude.
Got any better ideas? I'm sure they're out there!