So G, trying to be all efficient and such, went to the drugstore after work this week and picked up 2 packs of generic pull-ups for daycare.
Side note: I hate the idea of pull-ups and we only get them because the daycare insisted we do so when B moved to the toddler 2 room. I mean, they are less-absorbent but more expensive diapers. Why not use diapers until you can use underwear. Waste of money. End rant.
Anyways, we were totally out so I ripped open the package and put them on B and they fell right off. Looked at the sizing. Two sizes too big.
We had already opened one pack so we "saved" it (here's to hoping we will never use it because I certainly don't expect to be still toilet-training B 2 years from now) and G exchanged the other pack. But all they had in B's size were the pink package. Whatevs, right? B loves his pink crayon and always asks for the pink vitamin. I figured these would have a pink animal themed waistband, similar to the other ones. Nope. The next day I ripped open the pack and found pale pink training pants covered in princesses and fairy wands. B didn't care a fig..."ooh pink ones" and he stepped right into them.
The incident made me think about the gender-stereotyping of our teeny tiny kids. I mean, why do the pull-ups have to be different? It said nothing on the package about padding in different places, and really, diapers are unisex...why are 2T pull-ups gendered? And why oh why oh why do manufacturers INSIST on pink princesses and fairies on any product marketed to girls and sports items and cars for boys. First of all, really anything should be fair game for either girls or boys. Second, if you are going to insist that princesses are not for boys and dump trucks are not for girls, well then what about selling things that are universally loved by all kids, like animals or food?
Its bad enough with the newborn gear, but as B is getting older, the clothes are more ridiculous with monsters and scary dinosaurs on the boy PJs whereas the girl PJs have things he might actually LIKE, such as teddy bears and cupcakes, but in pale pink and purple and festooned with sparkles. Pastels don't go with our skin tone.
So he is wearing the pink pull-ups and I'm feeling a bit smug about defying gender stereotypes. The next day, I'm getting B ready for the day and again, need a pull-up. I yell out to G, "hey, where'd you put those girly pull-ups?" Oops. I think I have some more work to do, these things run deep.
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ReplyDeleteI hear you, Ana. Luca and I were accused of being parents who were "anti-pink for girls" because D was dressed in a green and white striped froggie suit (it was really cute). We just can't win!! Frankly, she looks cuter in blue than she does in pink, but we do have colors. I do feel it's a bit sexist to label clothing emblazoned with sports equipment or cars "boys," and butterflies "girls," and I wish that instead of organizing the clothing that way on Amazon or at the store, parents could choose whether a blue or purple pajama would look cute on their daughter or son without having to do whole separate searches in the boys and girls departments.
ReplyDeleteI'll bet B rocks the pink pull-ups.
Haha, I LOVE this--i totally agree--it's so ridiculous how gender specific everything has to be, particularly when it comes to boys wearing pink. Good for your son and you for not caring!
ReplyDeleteThis is something I think about a lot, and especially recently now that Arlo is starting to get more toy gifts from family members. N and I are are very much into sports, so we love that Arlo loves balls and other sports-related toys...but it now seems that this is all he receives. And the balls are all gender-specific, too. And it made me strongly want to buck things. He also loves playing with fake/fabric fruit and with pots and pans, and so I find myself sometimes pointedly including him when I do things in the kitchen. When I told a family member recently that we were going to make a kitchenette for Arlo, they just kind of stared at us as if to say, "But...why?" Anyway, there is nothing quite as reflective of the gender dichotomy than the toy aisle. And it pisses me off. Because I want Arlo to make his own choices. I don't want them subliminally made because of sexist social constructs.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting about the diapers--I follow a cloth diaper exchange on FB. People will always say they are looking for "gender neutral or boy colors" because they will put "boy" colors on a girl, but not "girl" colors on a boy. Why? I have a husband who has no issue wearing pink, so I hope that some of that rubs off on Arlo. Who knows?
Anyway, I totally get what you said about all parents feeling these profound things that we feel about our kids. That's why I could never say that we love our kids more. No way. I mean, people LOVE their kids, and it's this amazing kind of love. I would never posture otherwise. I guess I just know who I am as a result of what I've gone through, and I know I am different for it. And it just makes sense to me that it makes me a different parent, too. (But so does other things--like the fact that I didn't have kids until later, and I was able to square away a good chunk of education before becoming a mother, and we are financially secure, and I am in a healthy partnership, etc.) So, I know IF isn't the only thing that influences who I am as a parent, but I can't say it isn't irrelevant. You know?
I hate to hear that you're questioning your place in the ALI world. I hope that can be amended some way.
Have a good weekend! :)
I feel this too. I hope to raise a son who doesn't fall victim to others' expectations of him but I know that this is difficult. On the one hand, he has been quintessentially boy from early on - obsessed with motor vehicles of all sorts - and I was a bit sad about this but we now accept that cars and truck are truly what he loves. On the other hand, we have never told him that anything is off limits because it is for girls. I love the fact that one of his favorite colors is pink (he would be thrilled to wear those pull-ups) - until I think about the fact that he will likely get teased for liking pink. It really pains me to think about him getting teased - ugh.
ReplyDelete-slowmamma
It's terribly frustrating. I know it's only a matter of time till Bun Bun enters a sparkling pink princess phase. I just hope she comes out of it. I am grateful to American Apparel for making monochromatic baby clothes...
ReplyDeleteJust to help you stretch your pull-up dollar a bit... we go multiple rounds with a dry pull-up. As long as there were no accidents IEP will get the same pull-up a couple of nights in a row.
ReplyDeleteOh, I hear you, and definitely realize it's slightly more OK for my daughter to wear the "boy" stuff than vice-versa. So we do a lot of that. I think you have the same brand of pull ups we buy so I alternate between the 'girl' and 'boy' ones, because there's only so much pink and fairies I can take.
ReplyDeleteThe one thing I LOVE about the switch to pull ups (besides the fact that my girl is BIG for her age so the biggest size of diapers does not fit) is that since about age 2.75 she can essentially change herself when she's wet. I'm hoping that'll encourage the potty training ;D