Has this ever happened to you? You buy some article of clothing...let's say its a dress. The dress looks amazing in the store. The color, the style...its perfect. You quickly try it on and glance in the mirror---its a gorgeous dress, indeed. You pay for it (considerably more than you would normally pay) and bring it home.
And then you put it on the next morning, and you realize that something is a bit...off. Its a little tight here, a little loose there. But still! Great dress! So you go on to work, confident that you look amazing. As the day wears on, however, you notice you are constantly tugging at it, straightening the hem, yanking up the neckline, adjusting the waist. You look in the mirror again---its weirdly creased, and perhaps a bit low cut. All day long you are self-conscious and distracted from whatever else is going on around you by constantly needing to adjust the (gorgeous! fabulous!) dress.
The next time you try it with a scarf. And then a belt. Different shoes. You take it up an inch. No matter how you tweak it though....something isn't right. But you just can't admit the truth---perhaps this dress, amazing as it is, is not the dress for you.
And that's how I'm feeling about my life these days. I'm tweaking, I'm adjusting, and yet I don't feel comfortable. And I can't quite pinpoint what the problem is, it just feels...off. I'm distracted from the here and now by trying to figure out how to make it better, when, honestly, it shouldn't be so hard, should it?
Maybe its time for a change? Or maybe its the rain, our (AGAIN for the love of god) leaking roof, and my achy sinuses, or the 10 lbs I've gained that make all my clothes too tight. I think I'm going to stop trying so hard and see how it goes.