I was thinking of ways to boost my mood/energy when I'm feeling blah, without resorting to the usual "treats" (wine, food, shopping). Since we had a few more nights of free babysitting, I though maybe G and I could venture out and get a drink one night this week----get out of the house, take a nice walk, have something yummy and relaxing, and chat. And then I saw the latest post from Frugalwoods about how "going out" was just a "roadblock opiate" to soothe our unsatisfied consumerist souls. Double blah. Now I not only have the blahs, but I feel bad about myself and my life choices for having the type of life that is prone to having the blahs and my immediate desire to use "going out" to fix it.
I came up with a list of a few things that do work for me, though I'm open to more!
Frugal and healthy blah-beating methods
- Go outside, even for a little while. I've been taking the outside route to walk between buildings at work---the warmth and sunshine feels great after sitting in my dim freezing office. At home I look to go outside and check on my "garden" (everything has either bolted or is being eaten by squirrels at this point, but still...green and living).
- Write it out (duh!)
- Plan something fun for the near future to look forward to (but uh oh, is that more "going out". damn)
- Talk to people---neighbors, colleagues. When I'm feeling blah, my inclination is to be anti-social, but its actually helpful to have light conversations with others
- Exercise
- Read/watch something soothing. the latter part is key---I was re-reading the Anne of Green Gables series, and when I finished that, I jumped into the book I have from the library---Still Alice. I read 2 chapters and was anxious & depressed; that exact scenario is one of my nightmares. I'll have to abandon it, though I heard its good. I'm back to watching Gilmore Girls instead.
- Finish a quick but nagging task.
Hahaha on the roadblock opiate. Mrs. Frugalwoods gets her thrills from hiking, but that's not the only way to get variety in life. I don't think she's against planning something fun for the future either, just not doing it to the point that things are no longer special, Which makes sense-- the latte factor is much more enjoyable when it's still a treat rather than just a habit.
ReplyDeleteThose are good suggestions!
Right now I'm doing horrible procrastination because looking at my to-do list for the next 6 weeks I want to die. Too anxious to have the blahs. So, um, back to work?
No, I get what she's saying, but her idea of "fun" just happens to fit perfectly with never spending any money ever. Its lucky when it works out that way, right? Makes it a LOT easier.
DeleteI dunno, she does have that $4.63/week seltzer habit!
DeleteHer big expense is going to be giving up two high paying jobs to homestead. I cannot think of much (that a person could willingly do) that is less fun than that. A lot of my ideas of "fun" or at least "doing something worthwhile with my time" involve getting paid. It is really nice liking one's job and getting professional fulfillment from that. Different strokes!
[I hate blogspot with the burning passion of a thousand suns. This is the 3rd time today it ate something (and I stupidly forgot to copy before hitting publish). *sigh*]
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad about wanting to go out. While living within one's means, budgeting, saving for college and retirement are all wonderful and positive things, I have many thought about the extreme frugality/early retirement movements and most of them are the opposite of adulatory.
You know this, of course, but I will write it out anyway. The blahs in middle age come from no longer there being concrete, inspiring milestones in our future. It's saddening and disorienting, especially for very driven people. I spend a lot of time brooding "Is this all there is? What is the fuckin' point? We are all so insignificant and short-lived in the grand scheme of things... Shiiiiit (The Wire style, http://shiiiit.com/)." But then I try to find the time to better myself or for creative pursuits, or enjoying the creative works of others, or focusing on how cute my kids are, and then I feel better. For a little bit at least.
DH and I go see shows, concerts, go to museums. Not all the time, but once every couple of months. Going out and enjoying art and/or people and/or food prepared by someone other than yourself once in a blue moon in not a sin. Sure, we could do the MMM way and calculate how much money we could save by never ever going out and then how much we could earn in dividends if we invested that money instead in a Vanguard 500 Index fund or whatever MMM likes. But why stop there? We could all wipe asses with tree leaves and think of all the money we could save on toilet paper over the course of our lives, and all the earnings, and all the trees saved!!! *eyeroll* I will shut up now.
Go out and have fun, you have free babysitting for crying out loud!
Silly xyk, you're not supposed to use tree leaves, you're supposed to use "family cloth", preferably made from old t-shirt rags. (Which, tbh, after spending several year in the last decade with potty-training kids, doesn't seem as out-there as it once did, especially the way DC2 seemed to be allergic to most wipes so used cloth instead.)
Delete(Also, yay budgets!)
I love every part of this comment so much xyk! Instead of writing a long response I'm going to write another post!
DeleteI think it's ok to go out and enjoy yourself, too! It's enjoying your neighborhood, spending time with your husband, and taking advantage of the free babysitting.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I also respect the fact that you're trying to stick to a budget and not fall into the over-consumption trap. My husband and I are budgeting more strictly now, too.
One of my favorite (free) ways to unwind is going for a walk and listening to a podcast. There are a lot of bad podcasts out there, but there are also a lot of good ones! I find it entertains me more than music (I just listen to music when I run).
As for things to do as a couple, I could use suggestions, too. We end up watching TV a lot. Our hobbies are very different and are more solo activities/things we do with friends (running for me, golf for him, etc.).
I've been searching (to no avail, but lots of $ wasted) for headphones that fit in my weirdly small ears. they hurt my ears! so no podcasts for me while walking, though I like listening to them when I clean the kitchen or fold laundry. Yes, to the default TV-watching. We either do our own work/reading or watch TV together. its lame.
DeleteForgive the shameless self promotion, but I was so intrigued by this post that I used it as inspiration for my own post: http://solitarydiner.blogspot.ca/2015/08/road-bump-opiates.html
ReplyDeletethanks, its a great post. I need to go back and comment---I read it on the way to work.
Deletei too have difficulty overcoming the blahs, which is probably partly why I work so much (too busy to feel blah). It's probably not a great long term solution. Honestly I think having more good friends outside work would help me most. But I don't really have that much control over that.
ReplyDeleteyeah, residency sure doesn't give you time for this kind of navel-gazing. Not that I wasn't depressed in residency. I was clinically depressed, got diagnosed, but didn't have time to be treated and eventually it lifted, thankfully. But yeah, it helps to be busy.
DeleteOh, I definitely still find time to navel gaze. Particularly when I do have free weekend and I can't think of a damn thing I want to do, and I sit around feeling like crap the whole weekend. And then I feel bad because I've wasted what little free time I have.
DeleteOh yes -- so little free time, so much pressure to do something amazing with it, end up wasting it. It's the worst.
DeleteThat's why I rate "lazing about doing nothing" as AOK in my book. So if that happens I figure that's what I needed and I am not disappointed. Satisficing is more optimal than optimizing every little thing.
Delete(That's separate from wanting to do something because I need to get out! But I also don't feel like I need to do the "best" thing, whatever that is, just something. Also part of why I skip reading a lot of life-style blogs-- the pressure is there to optimize everything which is tiring! And would be guilt-inducing if I weren't so contrarian.)
I can't believe nobody has mentioned reading a good book yet! I'm always so much happier when I'm in the middle of something fun to read. Also taking naps. I've noticed that I eat when I come home from work, to relax. Instead of eating if I lie down for 20 minutes that helps! Also calling people on the phone or texting my sister.
ReplyDeleteBut I did! Its my last bullet---reading something soothing! I'm not a napper. If I can fall asleep I'll wake up groggy and feel sick. Calling people on the phone is something I DREAD---weird but true, but I love texting my sister. I have to remember to do that more often :)
DeleteOh, I guess you mentioned reading already. Whoops! I read that one as more about watching things.
Delete