Sunday, however, was...what's the word...oh yes. Completely shitty. I really really tried to have a pleasant day, but, yeah. For reasons outside of my control, it royally sucked. And Saturday morning wasn't that great either. I did NOT run the 5K, though we cheered on our neighbors and B ran the 2 block kids race. I basically started & ended the weekend in tears in the bathroom and I'm not usually a crier.
I was reading SHU's post about her amazing October and my first instinct was to say "Oh, my October sucked." Because parts of it really did. But I'm trying to get away from that habit of painting entire long periods of time with the same ugly brush stroke, obliterating all the lovely little things that I've forgotten or overlooked. Obviously October had some good moments mixed in with the rough ones. I wrote about two entire weekends that were amazing. Why not focus on those? If I'm going to tell myself a story, why not tell the more positive one?
I used to think that happiness was something you arrived at when everything was finally going right. When you love your job, your marriage rocks, your kids are awesome and healthy and well-behaved, you have this close knit group of friends...THEN you'll be happy! And of course, its easy to feel happy when things line up and life is easy. But that happiness can be fleeting, because nothing stays lined up, and rough patches are part of every life. True happiness arises despite the complications, in the ability to realize that "this too shall pass" and also to notice that even on the blackest days, there are tiny glimmers of beauty and joy, if we only allow ourselves to notice. Those words, that sound so trite, like "resilience" and "presence"...they may be overused but they are true.
I wrote a post about October goals. I'm not even linking it or going back to read it because I know I failed spectacularly. Like I said, it was not an easy month. But I'm picking back up and starting over, today (because yesterday...ugh). So here are my November goals
- Gratitude journal every night---write 3 good things from every day, especially as relates to interactions with B (this was recommended by my therapist when I mentioned my spiral-of-doom fears about his recent issues)
- Exercise 4 times/week: T/Th/Sa/Su (not going to happen this week since I'm on call this weekend, but I need to do my Tues/Thurs workouts this week. The past week, I only worked out once which is really unusual for me and may explain some things...)
- Meditate! 10 minutes/daily
- Paper planning for work and home tasks (inspired, again, by Sarah)
- Get eating back on track (this is vague, but I know it when I see it, and it certainly doesn't involve gorging on cheese at 10pm)
- On non-workout days, wake up at 6am (this is 30 minutes earlier than previous. I did this today and it helped immensely to be fully ready before kids woke up)
- Organize/purge/inventory winter wardrobe
Soon (hopefully tomorrow) I'll detail my new clothing purchases and ask for some advice. There may be pictures! Not of me, just the clothes.
*Another Anne quote, regarding November
I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE CLOTHES POST!
ReplyDeleteI think your goals sound fantastic. I hope the paper planning works for you. I don't even know why it works so well for me but it just really, really does.
And judging from your last few weekend posts, it sounds like your October really WASN'T a bad month!!
there were definitely some rough things that happened this month---all piled together, and plus I got sick TWICE. So yeah, it wasn't perfect, but there were certainly good moments, like those two weekends!
Deletebeing sick SUCKS. i hate it too. so, that doesn't count :)
DeleteIn college, I met a long-term married couple in which the wife was an optimist and the husband was a pessimist. They viewed the same life through two completely different lenses. I made the decision right then and there to try harder to look on the bright side because she was so much happier. Resilience and persistence and perspective can make such a big difference.
ReplyDeleteAlso: being sick sucks (as I listen to RAs in the cubicle near me coughing their lungs out) and you definitely had some great weekend posts this past month!
Being sick sucks so much. Cut yourself some slack.
ReplyDeleteI laughed when you said Halloween wasn't so bad after all. I had some of the same feelings of dread, and was similarly pleasantly surprised. Yay! Maybe next time I won't be such a grump about it.
Or maybe, being a grump & lowering your expectations allowed us to have a pleasant surprise!? (my usual MO, that I'm trying to change, bc its I don't want to be a grump)
DeleteBeing sick really can sore even the best moments. But I think you're right that it can be easy to look back at a big swath of time and paint it with a broad brush. It's important that we remember the nuance in every season, there is nuance in every day! Every moment! It can be hard to remember that, especially when we have little kids and it can seem like we are dealing with the same problems day in and day out.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the rough weekend.
ReplyDeleteWe went with friends to their neighborhood that does Halloween as you describe - it was fantastic and so much more kid friendly & allowed for so much more interaction & conversation.
It's funny how you were stressed about Halloween being on a weekend. I was so glad to not be rushing home in time for the trick-or-treaters (who start SO early, I usually miss a few) and trying to make dinner while answering the door. Also, I felt like I didn't need to come up with plans for my kids for the day, because I could just tell them our plans were Halloween. It did end up being relaxing and fun. We put up our decorations in the afternoon and were ready to go before anybody rang our bell, so we chatted a bit with neighbors and it was really nice.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm a fan of paper planning, too!
THANK YOU GREAT MAN...
ReplyDeleteMy name is KARI, I have been in great bondage for almost 2 years suffering in the hands of a cheating husband, we were
happy and leaving well until he meant his old time girlfriend and he started dating her outside our marriage. Before you
knew it he stopped caring for his own family. It got to an extent, he was planning to get married to her and divorce me his
own wife, i have cried and reported him to his family but he never listened to anyone but to cut my story short i came in
search for a real spiritualist who could destroy their relationship and make him come back me and our 2 kids.
On my search i saw people given testimonies on how their marriages where restored by Dr Solo Wise. I pick his email
and narrated my story to him and he agreed to help me. After his work is done for me, on the third day my husband and the
girlfriend had a quarrel and he beat her up and he came home begging me and the kids and asking for forgiveness. He said
his eyes are clear now and he will never do anything to hurt his family again and promise to be a caring father and never
cheat again. I am so so happy that i did not loose him to the girl all appreciation goes to Dr Solo Wise for you are a
Great Man sent by God to help the people of this world. I have taste from the wonders of your help and i will continue to
tell of your good works. and to whom this may concern This is his email: drsolowisetemple@gmail.com
Facebook Page @: Temple Of The Wise
Dr Solo told me i could also contact him on many other problems including:
(1) if you always have bad dreams.
(2) You want to be promoted in your office.
(3) You want women/men to run after you.
(4) If you want a child.
(5) You want to be rich.
(6) You want to hold your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(7) If you need financial assistance.
(8) Herbal care
(9) If you are not able to satisfy your wife sex desire due to low erection.
(10) Problems with menstrual flow
(11) if you refused to be paid, people owing you?.
(12) solve a land issue and get it back.
(13) Did your family Denny you of your right?
(14) Cure of any kind of diseases or illness.
Contact him today and be sure of you happiness just has he did for me. Email: drsolowisetemple@gmail.com