Warning: spoilers for the finale of Breaking Bad. If you haven't watched it and think you might (and you SHOULD), skip this post.
We finished--hands clutched, heart racing--the last two episodes of Breaking Bad Friday night. The finale was perfection, like the rest of the show. Certain lines and scenes from the show have been haunting me all weekend. It's like a book hangover, but even more intense, with music, audio, and visual.
There is one line that I cannot get out of my head. For me, it sums up the entire story, and also answers the question that I've been asking myself for weeks "Why the hell am I still rooting for this monster?"When he comes to say goodbye to his family, Walt finally admits to Skylar his motivation: "I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And... I was really... I was alive"
This. This is what we can all relate to. This is what we are rooting for. Because who doesn't, deep down, long for that feeling. Being truly ALIVE. Finding your hidden talent and running with it, showing it to the world. No longer sleepwalking through life, but being fully engaged, carpe-ing that diem and owning it.
Don't we all search for that? Maybe in a career, or a hobby? We travel to exotic lands hoping we'll feel it there. Some look for a new love or lust to ignite the feeling, to wake themselves up. We buy things---or we save our money hoping to leave our jobs believing "alive" will come once the 9 to 5 is over.
Walt's transformation was simply the twisted nightmare distortion of the trite "find your passion" life advice that accosts us on a near daily basis. And as much as it is cliche, unrealistic, and pretty terrible career advice for most people, I admit to more than a little envy for those who have made it happen. Not just the lucky few that are able to make something they love into a profitable career, but including those that can clearly identify what their passion and talent even is.
As I sleepwalked through my mundane, mind-numbing weekend, I just kept wondering: what makes me feel alive? I honestly wish I knew.
What makes you feel alive? What is the best TV show you've ever watched (I need something really good to follow this one).