Its really all about attitude, isn't it? Why else can I feel incredibly content and grateful about my life one month and completely exasperated and overwhelmed the next...when nothing has fundamentally changed? Sure, sometimes I can pinpoint a particular stressor, like an illness or a deadline or a rejection that I can blame the bad mood on. Often, though, there is nothing different beyond the alignment of the stars or the firing pattern of my neurotransmitters.
I still absolutely think evaluating my priorities and how I spend my time is important, and I'm planning to do it...but I don't think I'm going to find anything earth-shattering there. Most of what I do just has to be done. I know from past experience that listing everything out, and seeing how much my life DOES actually revolve around the things that are important to me, actually helps me feel more satisfied with my choices.
I also realized the source of most of my discontent is not my actual activities--the kinds of things you can enter into a time log---but the countless things I'm thinking about, worrying about, "working on". My mental space is cluttered with shoulds and what-ifs and what-thens. Its crowded in there, and I can't see the forest for the trees---what am I really trying to accomplish with my parenting, my work, my relationships, my health? Not all the things I read and internalized and felt I should do, but the top 1-2-3 things that actually matter to me.
And somewhere in that list, I'm going to make sure that "fun" is included. It seems to have slipped out of my life lately. The fun should not come at the end when everything is done...because it is never done. I keep waiting to get to some magical place where all my responsibilities are taken care of and THEN I can relax. But I never get there. I just need to make it happen.