Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Better?

I've been trying to write this since Monday, but it never quite worked out---so enjoy the awkward mid-week weekend post.

We have had some pretty blech weekends lately, so I was determined this one would be different. We made plans! I had an outing with friends Friday evening which was much needed and loads of fun. Saturday I worked out, and then the 4 of us headed out for bowling & lunch. It was actually awesome, though a bit spendy, and I'd love to do it again! I got into my groove (such as it is) by the second game, and for the first time in ages, scored very close to 100.

Then I was exhausted. So I took to my bed and dozed and read and generally recharged physically  & mentally while the boys (all 3) played Legos. I need the energy because we had a sitter coming at 7 for a charity silent auction event for B's school. It was awkward initially...trying to mingle, not having anyone to really talk to...but as the wine flowed, it got a lot easier, and we ended up having a surprisingly good time.

Sunday we were all tired. We lost an hour. I drank too much wine at the party. It was dark and rainy.  G was in a really weird, blah mood and I wanted to stay out of his way. I played at home with the boys, went to a barre class, and then took the boys swimming at the Y. By the time I came back, G was revived, and we finished up the chores, lunches, food prep while the boys had their screen time. B was a little sick and L is always tired by Sunday evening since he only naps at school, so they went to bed at their regular time without drama (also it was nearly pitch black outside due to the rain). Daylight savings win!

Monday I actually got some good feedback on my failed grant, and I feel like I have some direction again which is incredibly motivating. That helped for the meeting I had with my division chief yesterday, too, he seemed impressed (or at least relieved) that I've made clear plans for how to go forward. B was in a great mood on the way home yesterday---he was going on and on telling me every last detail of his day in excruciating detail (and then we had "guided reading time" and I sat here and read this and Mr K said X and then...). He came home, scarfed dinner, and went upstairs to read every Dr Seuss book we own, the boy is obsessed.

It was a nice weekend and few days, full of those moments that Sarah mentioned with the kids "It's like, poignantly cute, in that there are these moments that occur that I just know will be memories that I will go back to, wistfully, for the rest of my life." I couldn't put it so eloquently, but I felt it...like I wanted to soak it all in, the cuteness, the warm sticky hugs, even the tears, and the intense palpable need behind them.

I mentioned before that I have this very mildly bipolar mood pattern, where I get stuck in a down period for a while, where everything is a slog and I can't get motivated or excited about a single thing, I just go through the motions and wait for it to end. And then it does...for no clear reason...everything shifts and life is awesome and exciting and fresh again. I'm still in the down period right now I must admit, but I think I'm sensing the shift about to happen.

Good things on the horizon:
  • Next week is B's spring break. My mom is coming Saturday evening. My sister is dropping of the twins Tuesday, and it'll be cousin chaos. My dad comes later in the week, and sister & BIL return for Easter weekend to pick up their progeny & hang out. 
  • G and I will try to sneak out on some night >mom's arrival and < twins' arrival. Sunday may be our only option.
  • The appointment we were told would take 24 months? Not sure how or why but they called last week to offer us a slot! Its a series of 3, and #1 is Friday, #2 is next week, and #3 is early April. I don't think this is GOOD news, but its hopefully going to yield some answers. Answers that may give us more direction, which usually relieves anxiety for me.
  • We booked our flights for our June vacation. EEEP. Gotta book housing now. Goal is to have this finalized by the end of this week. Of course, I have to keep reminding myself that June is THREE MONTHS away, but having it on the calendar does help.
  • More and more and more daylight! It'll be even better when I'm not waking up in total darkness, having light on my early morning gym trip was nice while it lasted. 
What's good with you?

4 comments:

  1. So great about appointment, and I hope you are liking barre! I actually find my pen sentence hard to read (i.e. Not eloquent!) but I'm glad the sentiment came across.

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    1. Not pen sentence - not even sure what my phone just autocorrected

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  2. That is great news about the appointment! I will be eager to hear what you find out, especially since B sounds very similar to my son in some ways. And I'm glad to hear you are feeling motivated again at work.

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