Guys, its still pretty bad. I keep waking up at night feeling extremely sad & anxious. The past 2 nights I woke up twice; once around 2:30-3 and then again around 4:30. After the 4:30 wake up, I can't get back to sleep. Yet I felt too weird/shaky to go to the gym or meditate or do anything really besides scroll through my phone.
I feel jittery & nauseous, its hard to eat anything. I'm hungry, but the thought of eating almost anything makes me feel sick, and the smell of most food makes me feel sick. Sort of morning-sickness-like, but no happy secret going on here.
Yesterday I had to take B to an amusement park for a camp field trip. I was dreading it, didn't think I could manage, with the heat and the nausea and the overall awfulness...but I went, and I'm so glad I did. It was really fun, and kept me out of my head and in the moment. We stayed in the water park and the little kid area, where he could go on all the puke-inducing rides by himself while I sat in the shade and waved & smiled. He is so independent, he loved going by himself. He was marvelously well behaved and cheerful. Even the 90 minute bus ride each way was fun---on the way up I chatted with other moms, on the way back, I entertained 4 6-year-old boys by looking up knock-knock jokes on my phone (and they enhanced them by adding "poop" to each punchline)
Of course, today I'm back at work, and nothing is fun and I'm NOT in the moment. I made it through clinic and finished my notes & phone calls and now I just want to go home. My lunch is sitting in my bag and it just doesn't appeal, though my stomach is growling.
Thanks for reading and offering support. It means a lot!