I keep trying to talk to G about it, and I think he's not seeing how bad it is because I SEEM fine. Of course I seem fine! I have to hold my shit together for everyone! I don't have time (aside from that hour last weekend when he took the boys to the park) to just wallow. And I've been trying to keep really busy...because busy means less time for thinking/feeling. Distractions are good.
A few things that are really helping right now:
- Exercise: more than usual. tired also means less thinking/feeling.
- Getting out of the house in the evenings: sometimes I really start to chafe against the feeling of being trapped in the house from 6pm on every night (to begin/get through our evening routine with the kids). Last night I went to a neighborhood "book club" which was sort of fun. There was a period of time where birth stories were being exchanged and I sipped my drink and mentally went bye-bye because ugh. Other nights I make up errands. I signed up for an evening work out next week. I just like being out and about on summer nights.
- Camp: B loves camp. Camp loves B. He's happy. He NEEDS to be active to the point of sheer exhaustion. He eats ravenously and GOES TO SLEEP.
- CSA share: I am also enjoying the challenge of trying to cook up all the veggies we get in our box. I've made all kinds of stir fries, crumbles, salads, roasted things. another thing that's keeping my mind off my worries in the evening.
- TV: after a run of mediocre book choices (I've abandoned the last 2 books I started), I've been preferring to wind down at night with an episode of a show. I'm trying to finish up season 7 of Gilmore girls, and am 10 episodes into (out of 100+) Lost.