I know its become a "thing" in popular culture to complain about the year we just finished, but SERIOUSLY, 2016 was not awesome for me on so many levels. Any year in which you become depressed and take several months to realize, and then treat, said depression is forever labeled a shitty year in my book. Add on everything else (B's issues, diagnosis, and continued issues, both of my parents were hospitalized several times, we are spending $$$ trying to bail MIL out of her financial troubles, rejected grants and papers...to name a few off the top of my head).
I feel like a large part of last year was about just getting through. Head down, power through, try not to think or feel too much lest I get stuck. I don't want to live that way forever, though. I want to get back into the practice of stopping, noticing, wondering, and feeling.
Hence my pick for this years word: SAVOR. I thought about "slow" or "quiet", but sometimes what you really need is to run FAST or sing LOUD. I just want to take time out of each and every day to appreciate and linger over the amazing things you can miss if you forget to look.
I'm hoping this word will also translate to my relationship with food. I eat, and drink, as if its a contest. I want to stop the habit of gobbling and gulping mindlessly, and really focus on the flavors and textures. I think it will be more satisfying, and...hopefully...lead to eating/drinking less. Maybe? This one is a stretch, I know.
I've already begun working on this. I spent a long time playing with L as he took a bath the other day---reveling in how his growing body can barely stretch out in the tub anymore. How much longer will he want to play with his bath toys, pretending they are cakes and ice creams he is serving me from his rest-u-ant. I slowly ate my lunch, chatting with a colleague, today, tasting the crunch of the peanuts, the chewy rice, the hearty chicken. I slowed my walk and looked at the way the sun hit the clouds, and the breeze swirled around. I relished each sip of hot, pleasurable tea....ha ha NO! Just kidding. I still hate tea.