Title inspired by Justine's recent comment on my post re: trying to savor your kids even though they are driving you bananas.
Guys. My boys are challenging me right now. Especially B. He's been SO ANGRY all the time. His "New Year's Goal" (G gave him a lecture about S.M.A.R.T. goals when he brought up "resolutions" from a Winne-the-pooh movie he watched) was to work on handling his anger (try different methods for diffusing...like breathing, distraction), and we've had LOTS of time to practice, discuss, and fail. He is just constantly sad/upset/lashing out and its hard to be around. I've lashed right back at him, somewhat shamefully at times. We may need to look back into outside help. L is his old stuff, alternating between cheerful, cuddly, hilarious monkey and shrieking, spitting, squawk-bird. He's so refreshingly typical even if a bit of a "handful".
So this weekend was...OK. Despite my oh-so-productive first morning back, right after I hit "post" I started feeling not so good. So I'm sick. I haven't worked out since we've been back, not once. This weekend I barely left the house. It snowed. We played in it some. L actually enjoyed it.
There were highlights. I met some colleagues after work Friday. It was a "planned exception" to the dry month and I had one beer. I never see these people socially, so it was new, and I was pretty quiet, but it was nice to get out. We (the younger faculty) are going to try to make this a regular thing, and its never a bad idea to commiserate about your struggles to someone who gets it.
Sunday I was one of two judged for a neighborhood "Chopped"-style cooking competition. This was SO FUN. I got a delicious (though unusual...there were weird ingredients) brunch and met some awesome neighbors. This will also turn into a semi-regular thing and we have plans to make it more fun (wine!)
I also uncluttered like a BOSS and got rid of so much stuff. I'm done with: bathrooms, my clothes & jewelry, books, office supplies, kids clothes, & kids toys. Some of these categories I keep up with regularly so there wasn't much to do (kids clothes, I get rid of all of L's clothes at the end of each season). I still need to do: kitchen (excited about this one), paper (filing cabinet), pantry, coat closet, kids' books. This does not include any of G's stuff---he's on his own for that, and I have no idea when/if he is going to work on it. He says he wants to, and he's best when left alone to find his own inspiration.
I slept terribly last night despite the usual medication combination. I couldn't fall asleep until after 11, then I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep. I'm on call this week which...blah. I am DETERMINED to go to my Tues and Thurs AM work outs.
Happy new week.
I haven't wanted to blog about it, but we are getting outside help (therapist) for J and it is so helpful. Mainly for me to bounce ideas off of! I think it's helping him, too.
ReplyDeleteAnd that chopped competition sounds so cool!
our 2 were both horrendous this past weekend too. They were very cute for some of it. And very BAD for others. Like multiple time outs, Cameron hitting, Cameron hysterically laughing when he's being disciplined (uhh no, kid, it's not funny!), etc. So I feel ya. I often wonder how people who make it look easy do it. Are my kids just . . . feistier than average (maybe). Am I more of a pushover than average b/c I'm at work so much (probably). Sigh.
ReplyDeleteNo I don't think you are more of a pushover....because I don't think there is any such thing. I don't think you need to necessarily be "stern" and "tough" for your kids to behave...some of them just DO and some just don't. (or maybe I'm just telling myself stories, because my kids DON'T)
DeleteHi Ana,
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog from a link on theSHUbox blog- and this post caught my attention because I have been dealing with similar issues from my 2 children daughter (6) and son (4). One thing that I will realize after a few days of angry/bad behavior from my kids is that something is generally off- I'll be waiting for them to get sick but when they don't and the bad behavior continues my mind won't stop trying to make sense out of it. So far I believe the main reasons for this kind of behavior has been linked to bathroom problems (both loathe #2) its a vicious cycle of holding it and limiting food and drinks- we were doing pretty well with #2 until they both had stomach bugs and the bout of diarrhea brought up old negative feelings about discomfort of going to the bathroom.
another issue that has plagued my son is allergies; stuffy nose, puffy eyes- just pure discomfort. I kept waiting for it to turn into a cold and realized we go through the same symptoms in the spring time and also really bad behavior.
With my daughter we have issues with getting dressed, wearing shoes, anger- and most of the time these are all symptoms of her not feeling good in one aspect and therefore hypersensitive and emotional.
But, seriously, this parenting thing is hard. So, So Hard.
I don't know if any of my ramblings is even relevant to what you are dealing with- I just remember something from Gretchen Rubin, that as adults we should treat ourselves like toddlers- make sure we are not hungry, tired, cold, hot, etc. and I find that this generally is true for me if I am irritable it generally comes down to something basic.
DeleteYou rock! Decluttering like a boss is no small feat, especially if you've got kids. The next most painful thing is the deep cleaning that often goes with it. Good luck redoing your home! I might just do a little decluttering of my own.
ReplyDeleteFrank George @ Dutch Hollow Supplies