This week has been a tough one, and I find myself coming back to Sara's word: Breathe. And its saved me. I think I'll add it to my word; its a perfect counterpoint: SAVOR the good times, BREATHE through the rest.
Call weeks are always tough, and I'm still dealing with the lingering sickness. But more than any of that, the reality of what is happening in this country is hitting me yet again, after allowing myself to be distracted by holidays & celebrations & travel. I am firmly back in the Upside Down and while I am somewhat angry, worried & fearful, right now I mostly just feel...bereft.
I watched Obama's farewell without shedding a single tear. Yet when I heard him call Joe Biden his "brother" the way my sweet, loving L does to his best friend, I lost my composure and haven't quite gained it back. I'm breathing through my grief. While I don't agree with every decision our president has made in the past 8 years, I am without a single doubt that he is an intelligent, thoughtful, kind, and decent man. A good man, that I am proud to call my leader, that I want my kids to look up to and emulate. I just can't reconcile what is happening right now---every day brings some new horror that keeps me up at night (because of course, my husband likes to have conversations at 9PM, and hell if I can fall asleep with that on my mind).
Breathe in...1...2...3...breathe out...1....2....3. Its getting me through the day and night.
Yeah. I couldn't agree with this more. I wonder sometimes if I'm being overly pessimistic or need to take steps like keeping massive amounts of cash and hoarding canned goods in my house. Really I can't fathom what the next month will bring, much less the next four years...
ReplyDeleteThank you. It is scary. We really are in for at least 4 years of surprises. It will be interesting. The new arrangement however is headed by a person who wants positive responses ... public reactions may impact what is done because crowd pleasing may well influence him.
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone in your feelings. Call or write your elected representatives and also the White House, their obligation is to all of us. And be involved in voter registration and voter turnout in two years. And hang on and in.