Monday, August 10, 2015

One Weekend, Two Ways

Pretty blah weekend. Was tired & stressed and went to bed at 9pm Friday. Saturday I took both kids to the park, where B ran around aimlessly talking to himself while L demanded that I "play with him" every 5 minutes, which mostly consisted of me getting on my knees and zooming cars on the concrete. Then I drew the short straw and stayed home trying to occupy myself while B listened to terrible music and did puzzles and G got to accompany L to a super-fun bowling birthday party with an open bar!

I did take B to a playdate for incoming KG classmates, but the play date was supposed to happen inside a huge summer festival with loud music, crowded bounce houses, and "water slides" that featured grey/black water by the time we got there. No one was there at the designated meeting place & time and we wandered around aimlessly in the heat/sun looking for the group. Finally we met one mother with her son; the kids refused to look at each other, much less "meet" or "play". We went home after 30 minutes. G wanted to work on his woodworking thing, so I tried to occupy the boys. They wanted to go to the pool at the Y so we did---though a crowded heated indoor pool on a beautiful summer weekend sort of feels like a waste! They each got a time out at the pool.

They were starving when we got home after 6pm and I thought G would've gotten dinner ready, but he hadn't even thought of it and was heading out to walk the dog, so I had to hurry and get something together while he took a super long walk. We did the usual dinner/bedtime thing and I was exhausted and had a headache and wanted to watch gilmore girls on the ipad while lying in bed. But the wifi wouldn't work upstairs and I eventually gave up and went to bed.

Sunday I had planned to go for a run but B was up early and insisted on coming with me on his scooter which made it...slow and short. I had plans for adventures with the boys, to give G more time to finish his project but they (well, B) refused to get ready and go! So G took L to the store while B and I stayed home again and he...listened to music and did puzzles. After lunch, L needed a nap and I was tired too, so I took him up to nap with him. Since he decided to sleep with one hand holding my ear and his foot on my head (seriously, how?) I didn't actually sleep, but he did. After he woke up, I zoomed more cars around, helped find missing puzzle pieces, broke up fights, etc... while G finished up his project. Then the dinner/bed routine again. And there went another weekend.

Low-key relaxing weekend. Caught up on sleep. Got to work out both mornings, including a Sunday AM run with B which was really good bonding time. He went surprisingly far, over 2 miles until he got tired & slow, and started asking fascinating questions like "where did the FIRST dog come from" "where did the first EGG come from". I was wondering when those questions would come, though I didn't actually have answers!

During Saturday's music/puzzle time, I puttered around on the internet for a while, but then used the time to plan out my week for work (which has made for a super-productive Monday so far!). Sunday I read several articles in the New yorker, something I always feel I "don't have time" for. During L's nap, since I couldn't sleep, I grabbed my Kindle and read a good chunk of "I Know How She Does It" which is really really good (I'll write more when I finish the book).

I got to meet & talk to a new KG mom, so I have one more familiar face going into the year. I also managed a park & pool trip solo with the kids Saturday, and they mostly behaved pretty well! There was a time out each at the pool, but as soon as I said "time out" they meekly climbed out of the pool and sat on the bench until I told them to come back in (who are these kids?). The boys got lots of R&R in, B even remarked as he did his puzzles that "this is so relaxing for me mommy!". We had pancakes for breakfast both days and the kids and adults favorite nachos for dinner Saturday night.

G got the opportunity to work on a hobby that he loves, and finish a project that gave him a lot of satisfaction (and me a cool shelving system for my container garden). There weren't many chores, just going to the store and prepping food a bit on Sunday. Plenty of time with the kids, and even some time to myself. And almost everything we did was free!

Honestly, I was focused on the above scenario for much of the weekend. It fit perfectly into my blah mood and I'd worked myself into quite a mood. But by Sunday afternoon, I was starting to realize a lot of the lower level stuff was true. Maybe the beer I was drinking helped, but I was in a much better mood by Sunday night. Part of the problem is having expectations and plans that don't come to fruition, part of the problem is that I prefer getting out of the house and my kids these days seem to prefer playing at home. And part of the problem is that I was simply being a grumpy McCrankypants (like we call our kids) and actively trying to see the worst in everything.

I'm sure the reality was somewhere in the middle. Lessons learned: 1) not every weekend needs to be amazing and full of a million activities all of which go off without a hitch. 2) I may have more chunks of free but need-to-be-around time coming up (basically when L is not home and B is playing independently) and I need to have a plan for how to use that time (a book I'm reading, little bits of work (work work or home projects) to do that I wouldn't mind having to stop in the middle of), I need to lay out the day the night before to B, because his initial response to anything is NO but he does eventually come around---if he knew we were planning an out-of-the-house adventure for Sunday he may have been more willing to go along with it when it was time to go.

Here's to a happy week!


  1. I love this post. Each description of the weekend absolutely had me believing it was 100% accurate. I felt stressed reading the first version and relaxed reading the second. I think my own weekend could be described these two ways, too. It's a great exercise.

  2. Perspective is so much, isn't it?

    I read Vanderkam this weekend too...

  3. I LOVED this post. It's funny, I've been spending he evening in a dark room listening to my son's sleep song on repeat while my husband gets to chat with his friend. But honestly, it's been kind of nice and relaxing and I've gotten some good reading done. I even re-started a fun YA book I abandoned a while ago. So I haven't even minded being stuck in a dark room while my introverted husband gets to socialize, and yet I totally gave him a guilt trip about it today when he was being pouty because it was just too easy. I'll tell him later that I haven't minded it so much. ;)

    I'm going to try this exercise on our disaster of a "vacation." I'm sure it would help immensely.

    1. this is motivating me to try to see our vacation (which i am honestly rather anxious about - sick kid, hard ages, potentially hot & sticky destination) in a positive light.

      that DOES sound nice and relaxing :)

  4. this post is AWESOME. hoping our trip can be written in style #2. and looking forward to the introverted males post. i'm thinking it's probably deeply ingrained, where cavemen used to go out on silent hunting excursions while the women tended a whole slew of kids and gossiped about the latest in wooly-mammoth-pelt fashions . . .

    1. no NO, no evolutionary psych!!!

    2. Thank you for that comment, Ana!

    3. Haha I know you hate that. But I couldn't help it :) sorry!

  5. Brilliant post. If I were still blogging, I'd totally steal the idea.

  6. Love it. I think a lot of my days/weekends could be written in either version. Glad you're enjoying the book (and that it was in the second version!)

  7. This is great. As I was reading the first part, I was actually thinking "Ana, this is really not bad!!" Attitude is everything.

    ps For some reason, your blog hates me. slowmamma