Just part of being an adult, I suppose, with family, home, and work responsibilities. I'm OK with that. What bothers me a bit is the realization that even my young children don't have that luxury of time. I feel like I'm constantly pushing them along to the next thing, all the while delicately managing each transition (because toddler psyches seem to come apart quickly while switching activities).
We work. The kids are in daycare. Mornings require constant motion for everyone to end up where they need to be. Evenings, similar, for everyone to end up in bed. All the other stuff gets done on the weekends, including the fun stuff. Swim lessons, Children's museum, birthday parties, park trips, etc... We want our kids to experience these things, and they love them, yet by necessity going places precludes staying at home and hanging out.
I used to think the kids enjoyed being out & about. That they got cranky & bored at home. But I'm realizing as they get older that they actually need down time the same way I do. B in particular is showing introvert tendencies. He likes to just lay in his crib alone sometimes or goes upstairs by himself and pages through books. Particularly after something stimulating or with other people. He also likes to play on his own, or one-on-one with a parent, on quiet activities like puzzles, play-doh, blocks. He likes "helping" us with chores & cooking. When we're home doing nothing is also when the boys
Lately I've been trying to be mindful of their need for downtime. To limit our activities so that there is time to simply hang out, get bored, know each other. To read just one more book 20 times, go through the whole bottle of bubbles, transport every. single. toy. from their upstairs bedroom to the living room, and then back again, JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO MOMMY. For B to follow me upstairs and help me sort socks, while G holds L in his arms and talks him through his special chicken spice rub.
We still have lots of activities planned. Its spring, after all. Time to venture out and explore the city, celebrate with friends, and learn about the world. But I'm making sure the going & the doing doesn't completely obliterate the being. Being together, being home, being the family I always envisioned.