How long did it last? Less than 48 hours before another evening up late with wine and chips and my phone, then waking up exhausted and having to see a full day of patients, and UGH. Why do I do this to myself. Discussed this with my therapist today, and she points out that my work has gotten quite draining. I'm always constantly interacting with people and making decisions and I have no time to think and reflect and plan. By the end of the day I am emotionally SPENT and I numb myself with food and wine and scrolling.
I also realize I have literally no time to myself anymore, and I CRAVE it. I just want to not have to worry about anyone else's feelings for one evening (a whole weekend would be great). Part of staying up too late is just getting that kid-free (and sometimes G-free if he goes downstairs to work) time. The mornings are no longer my sacred time to myself, G is up with me, and B has been waking up ridiculously early too. I guess I could get up EVEN EARLIER but I haven't been able to bite the bullet and do it yet.
I need to find some way to build in some buffer for myself because this is untenable.