Saturday, July 17, 2021

Saturday Musings

 I slept well and did a really hard LIFT4 legs workout this morning. Now I'm supposed to be catching up on work but...reading and commenting on blogs instead. 

I realized that this is actually the only weekend this summer that we are all at home with no traveling plans. 

  • June 11-13th (last day of school): Camping with friends
  • June 19th: I drove the kids to my parents, stayed the night, and drove back myself*. They stayed for the week
  • June 26th: Drove to my parents, picked up them and kids, and drove to S.C. for the beach trip (this was a long LONG day, 6 AM to 10 PM)
  • July 3-4th: Drove back, stayed overnight at parents' and drove home in AM
  • July 10-11th: Camping with friends
  • July 24th: fly to MIL-town
  • July 31st: G & I fly back home, leaving kids
  • August 10th G flies back and then returns with kids on August 15th
  • August 21st: Drive to ME
  • August 28th: Home from ME
  • August 31st: School Starts

Oh and then my sister visits for Labor Day, I'm on call the next weekend, speaking at a conference (in town) the next weekend, and we are planning an amusement park trip for L's birthday the next weekend.

BUT! I will have 2 weeks kid free while they stay with MIL and 5 days ALL TO MYSELF when G goes back to spend more time with his family. I am so excited. I had a weekend all to myself once, 2 years ago, and it was THE BEST THING EVER and I was so calm and happy and ready for them to be back. G's had a couple of weekends to himself lately (I've taken the kids to my parents) and he says he's lonely.

We are different people clearly. I need a lot of time to myself. I have not been getting it. It has affected my mental health & my relationships. I need some absence to make my heart grow fonder.

I should get to work. We have friends coming over for a play date/dinner and they have many food restrictions and I need to figure something out without dairy or gluten.  

*I actually remembered that I enjoy driving. I do NOT enjoy sitting in the car while someone else drives, for hours on end. 


Friday, July 16, 2021

Highlights, Lowlights, and Things I Learned

 Highlights of the week: 

  • I got the kids to bed (like said goodnight, closed the door) by 9:30 every night. This is (sadly) an improvement
  • The Loki season finale. So fun to have a show to look forward to together. 
  • The Kindle Paperwhite I ordered 3 weeks ago finally came in 
  • Surging COVID numbers all over the place and 2 unvaccinated kids and travel plans
Things I Learned About Myself This Week
  • I cannot do "deep work" in the afternoon after a morning clinic, especially when I cram in a full day's patients into a 5 hour session
  • I am a moderator. Except for extra toasty Cheez-Its. I need to abstain and be "free from Cheez-its"
  • I am still terrible at saying no to things that "sound interesting" and are WAY in the future where time and energy seem boundless. I need to remember "If its not a HELL YES it should be a HELL NO" (heard on a podcast, not sure which?)
Have meetings scheduled today 10-4 (last one ended early, hence this post). Looking forward to a weekend with absolutely nothing planned. I need to catch up on the work I didn't do yesterday afternoon and will obviously not be doing today 

Monday, July 12, 2021

Unexpected Day + Bedtime Woes

We went camping this weekend and for the first time ever, packed it in and came home a day early. It looked like heavy rain and the friends we were with had decided to leave---we've camped in worse, but the boys would've been very disappointed without their friends, and camping in the rain isn't exactly fun so...

G and the boys are doing errands/chores while I catch up on work. It was going to be an admin day for me, one of VERY FEW this month, so I am actually relieved to have it back. I've dealt with a bunch of backlog and using this time to plan out work projects for the rest of the summer so I can reach my (somewhat ambitious) goals. 

You may notice that I've also used some of this unexpected time to comment on your posts! I am always reading, but I can't comment from work or from from my phone, and when I actually sit down to my laptop I am usually back to back with meetings, so don't get used to it :)

As I read and comment and plan, I am always jotting down ideas for "life goals" to work on this summer. I already have grand plans to declutter and organize EVERYTHING while the kids are away with my MIL in August (I did this 3 years ago and its all devolved to shit again, so the whole "do it once" thing is obviously nonsense). Bedtime in our home is a major source of frustration for me right now---I am inspired by SHU and Gwinne to do something about it. I am also revisiting the idea of one on one time with the kids, something we have not done in YEARS as they currently do every single activity together except very occasional play dates (but even then, since usually outdoors, I just bring them both). And then the terrible (lack of) screen time rules in our home currently. 

Lets start with bedtime:

Current bedtime in our house (its summer, they go to day camp that starts at 9 so wake up around 8): we try to get them to bed by 9:30 but its often closer to 10 (omg). Unless its before 9, I will NOT read to them nor are they allowed to read by themselves (they are tired anyways lately, from being outside all day). We lay on their pillows for a few minutes each (though if I'm too tired I may just kiss them goodnight and go to bed myself). 

Not only is this TOO LATE for my liking (I have zero time to myself or with G regardless, but it actually pushes my own bedtime later than I need for my early wake-up) but the process of getting them upstairs and ready is a disaster. They 1) don't listen 2) fight or play with each other and 3) get distracted in the middle of simple tasks (B, the ADD kid, who will take off his clothes and then forget to put new ones on, or will be just sitting their staring at a book with one sock on and one sock off OMG!). They decide they are hungry. They decide they are "itchy" and want a shower. It is one thing after another.

Obviously, we need to think backwards from when we actually want them in bed so that we can make it work. Currently dinner is just too late, thus "family time" (watch a show or play a game) runs late, and the whole thing gets later and later. 

Ideally: Dinner 6:30-7 (I wish this could be earlier, but only possible if we stop work early), clean up/prep tomorrow's lunches/coffee/etc... 7-7:30, family time 7:30-8:30, up to brush/change, read (if time, which there should be if they get ready quickly but will never actually be because they won't), lights out 9:15

On days I'm at work, I'm not home until about 5:45-6. G drops them off and picks them up from camp (at 3 pm) so he doesn't stop work until about 6-6:30. Thus, earlier dinner is only possible if I am at home or have an early day, or if we don't have to cook (leftover days are the best). 

This week actually looks unusually good because I have a few admin days. We planned for pizza tonight. I will marinate chicken for a double-batch of chicken tikka which we will eat tomorrow and Thursday. Wednesday is an early day & Friday I am working from home, so I can start cooking at 5 those days. Saturday take-out and then start over again! 

Any bedtime tips or commiseration greatly appreciated!