Monday, October 7, 2013

What I learned this weekend

Without much fanfare, L turned two. And the 4 of us had another lovely weekend. I learned (or re-learned) a few things:

Children's milestones are bittersweet for the parents. Saturday was a happy day, but there were some unshed tears about my baby growing up, etc. Mostly during swimming lessons, when I realized the adorableness of parent-child swimming instruction was soon to come to an end. I kind of love swimming lessons. The kids are so happy in the water, we get to snuggle them and bounce them while we sing ridiculous swimming-themed versions of nursery rhymes, and catch them when they "Have a great FAAAALLLL" off the side. Its a fun and child-focused moment that starts our often harried weekends on a great note.

$5 worth of decorations from the dollar store, and $7 worth of cake-baking ingredients are all a toddler (and his brother) needs for a special day.

When someone offers you a break, even if you don't think you need it, TAKE IT. You will never regret it.

Paradoxically, planning is essential to being able to enjoy laid-back and relaxed fun. Otherwise there is general stress about how things are going to get done that ruins the vibe.

G & I are actually doing OK as long as we make a point to talk about things. This does not necessarily involve going to therapy. I am working up the courage to call her and cancel this week's session, since we were both secretly dreading it and were so relieved that the other felt the same.

Sometimes kids can actually be a lot of fun. Not just "cute" or "interesting", but honest-to-goodness fun. Like the impromptu dance party we had last night...who knew the under-4 set would love the Beastie Boys so much?

Perception and reality can be miles apart. G was telling me that I never touch him (hug, kiss, hold hands) and that he needs more of that. I was shocked, I thought I'd been doing plenty of that. Then I asked him if my lack of affection was what caused HIS lack of affection. And he was shocked, "I'm ALWAYS touching you". This is why we need to talk.

A second opinion on online shopping acquisitions is key. I am strongly biased towards keeping everything, given the hassle of returns. So I second-guess my initial negative impressions. When G tells me that its "not me" (definitely a diplomatic way of putting it...), its going back*.

BTW, I am definitely keeping both eShakti dresses and all but one top and one wrong-size skirt from Boden. Also the 2 tops and 1 skirt from Loft. That's it, I promise. 


  1. Glad that you and G are finding that you're talking more! I've noticed that perception vs reality thing a few times too.

    Love the swimming lesson description. We never did the family swimming lessons, but I'm going to start taking the kids to the pool regularly to support my son's weekly lessons. I'll have to remember the 'Have a great fall!' thing.

  2. I've been feeling very bittersweet about my kids growing up, too. As much work as it is now, there's something so fun about them being little and cuddly.

    I was so dreading calling up the old therapist to cancel my session, too. in the end, she didn't pick up, and I left her a totally awkward voicemail that I didn't know how to conclude, so I ended with "yeah... uh..." and hung up. But it doesn't matter. I'm never going to talk to her again.

    And I agree - if we could make a point to talk to our spouses about things regularly, we probably wouldn't get to this point to begin with. It's hard to feel sure that we'll keep it up, though, on our own.

  3. Beastie Boys have a regular spot in our dance parties, too!

    E turned 2 a couple of weeks ago, as well, and I feel the same mixture of happy and sad. It's sad to see her babyhood disappear and to know that I won't have another baby in the house (ever again...sob), but it's exciting to see all the new things she can do. Like, I'm looking forward to having real conversations with her. Right now, she mostly answers yes, no, more, okay, or she repeats what I've aid. But I know that real conversations are right around the corner. I'm really looking forward to hearing what she thinks and feels about things, and that can only happen *because* she's getting older. Definitely bittersweet.

    Glad you're moving on from the therapist. I meant to chime in on your last post that dumping her sounds like a good move if you're having spontaneous talks without her and going feels like a chore. In many ways, that's why we go to therapy, right? We go so that eventually, we can stop going and just live our lives, only better for having worked through whatever patterns were driving us crazy. Still: good for you for going in the first place and for working on your relationship together. My DH and I have talked about therapy and yet we haven't gone, though I finally got him to go on his own (huge progress!).

  4. We just celebrated the baby turning 2 as well! When you're 2, everything is great. Anything wrapped is exciting. Cupcakes are good and you don't really care about the kind of frosting or cake because any kind of frosting and cake is awesome. The second birthday is also the last birthday where this is the case!

  5. Happy belated birthday! Actually, I meant to comment when I first read this post, but bastard blogspot froze me off, and I gave up eventually. Anyway, it sounds like you had a great time. It is so nice to have a great time in between NOs and whinging and defiance (training for adolescence?!) and all the less lovely, could-very-well-do-without stuff that make up a child's life.