On Sunday night I was thinking about our weekend, mostly glad it was behind us. The kids were SO very challenging and I was mentally and emotionally exhausted, and I lost my patience with them and had it out with my husband. Yet...it was also the kind of weekend that would make others jealous if I decided to upload pictures & quotes to f@cebook. We spent lots of time outside in beautiful weather, got in some awesome exercise, had social activities, productive days at home, and cozy family times. My takeaway from this mental exercise is basically that the activities you do are only a small part of how enjoyable you find any particular stretch of time. The majority of it is all in the attitude---of yourself and those around you.
G and I are in a rough patch, mostly over parenting techniques. The same thing we've been disagreeing on for years, on and off. When the kids are particularly challenging, it brews back up. In short, B is not the only one in our family who may need some help managing big angry feelings. I honestly don't think we can make much headway with B until we get ourselves under control. G needs to a) acknowledge the problem, b) accept help/advice and c) do the hard work of making changes---the trying and failing and re-routing and trying again and failing again etc... maybe forever.
Its weird to me when people are not introspective and don't spend time daily on self-reflection. Those practices are so ingrained in me, I think they are a fundamental part of my personality. I think (about myself) therefore I am (myself). I told G to consider setting aside some time each day to THINK. He's constantly got his headphones on, with music, podcasts, etc.. I'd go nuts without some time to process each day and formally or informally work through issues, decide on courses of action, rearrange priorities, talk myself off the ledge or back onto the wagon. I do it in my head, in my journal, here on this blog...I just need to work things out and get my head straight so I can be my best.
Can people learn to self-reflect? Is it something you can "pick up" if you've never been in the habit? Or do certain people require OTHER PEOPLE to work things through (friends/spouse/therapist)? Or rely on tools to remind them or force them to think through certain things (is there an app for that)? How else do people change their behaviors/improve themselves?