Thursday, May 2, 2013

Evolution of a response...

My grant is going up for second review in 2 weeks (the one where they actually make funding determinations) and I just found out (from the NIH contacting me) that one of my mentors is leaving our institution. I contacted her and her response "today's my last day, I'm heading on vacation, I can't deal with this, good luck". They want me to identify a new mentor (as well as address some other issues) in a letter by next week.

  • Cue immediate stress and self-esteem plummet. I'm a terrible researcher, no one will want to mentor me, the grant will never be funded and I'll have to find a new job, etc... 
  • Coping mechanisms are mobilized---buy $50 sunglasses on line, complain to G,  drink wine, go to bed early
  • Self-esteem rebounds, and annoyance takes its place---what a piss poor mentor, wouldn't she notify all her mentees and help them develop a game plan? How is this MY fault? 
  • The steel enters my backbone---I'm not going to let this one stupid thing ruin what several others have stated are pretty good chances for funding.
  • Action---I have met with and identified a new mentor, someone who has some interesting thoughts for how I can further develop this project (and who agreed that ex-mentor did a pretty shitty thing). 

All within 24 hours.

And I wonder why I don't get any "work" done at work.


  1. Just another example of crappy mentorship that seems endemic some places. I'm sorry this happened to you, but I'm glad it worked out. Maybe it will be for the best in the long run.

    1. Thankfully my primary mentor is the textbook example of good mentoring. This person was a co mentor bc she added something specific to my grant...and we always got along and she seemed supportive but was, in retrospect, a bit TOO protective of her time and not willing to give too much of it up for me.

  2. DAMN, that is a really quick rebound! I am super impressed. Like, REALLY. Your co-mentor is a whore. Good riddance, and sounds like new mentor is way better.

  3. You recovered so quickly! I always get stuck in the coping mechanism phase (for d-a-y-s!). I hope the new mentor works out--sounds great so far. Great job of looking out for yourself when others let you down!