Friday, January 2, 2015

Beginning Yet Again

I didn't really have it in me to do a "year in review" type post for 2014. It wasn't a bad year, nor was it necessarily a good year. It simply was. The whole-meal bread of life, as Bunny wrote. Flour, yeast, salt, and just a touch of honey to sweeten the whole thing and make it easier to go down. Yup, that pretty much sums it up.

On a more dour note, I woke up this morning with the incredibly depressing realization that nothing has changed in the past 365 days. Not just the big stuff---of course we haven't moved, changed jobs, or added pets or children to our family. That was expected and, actually, welcome after several years of big changes. I mean the behind-the-scenes things. All the goals and hopes I had for making things better---every inch of ground I gained was eventually relinquished and I'm right back where I started.

Last year I decided to work on just a few fundamental things: marriage, parenting, and work. And I did make progress initially. But things got in the way, or I got lazy or sick or tired or excuse excuse excuse and this past week? Was pretty much this again.

Its enough to make me want to give up, but I'm not a giver-upper so I'm recommitting. Yet again. This time with the secret weapons of therapy and accountability.  I will think it through and post again about specifics---re-trying what worked and ditching what didn't last year and hopefully adding some new tricks.

I also made a "Fun List" last year. Lets see how I did with that, shall we?
  • Go hear live music (not counting the 2 kiddie concerts we are going to)
  • See a non-music performance---play, dance, comedy routine
  • See an exhibit at a non-child-friendly museum
  • Add myself to carshare account and use it
  • Learn to make a nice cocktail for myself
  • Go to the beach
  • Go see fireworks
  • A trip for just the 4 of us---anything from a weekend to a week in length
  • Date night picnic in the park
  • Drive out at night to see the stars
  • Regular (i.e once every couple of months) lunches with my work friends
  • Regular brunches with my brunch friends
  • Go to friend's bridal shower
  • Find new music to listen to---goal of 5 new artists/bands*
  • Figure out something to do with my hair*
Some of these were pretty soft calls---the brunches ended this summer when one friend moved away, another had a baby, and then the third moved away this fall. We got the fireworks in on NYE. Some I definitely want to still try to do, and some I've given up on (the hair for the love of god I will never be happy with my hair).  This was actually kind of a fun exercise, and I'd like to do it again this year (so that post will also be coming soon!)

Wishing you all peace, sleep, and joy in 2015!


  1. Don't sell yourself too short -- you did do a few things in 2014, including start therapy which is a big thing in and of itself. And at least for some time, it sounds like things were going better on the marriage/family front.

    I will look forward to seeing the 2015 list!

    For music - check out NPR's top 300 songs - it's free streaming. There has to be something you like in there :)

  2. Yay recommitting! And it's like quitting smoking, each time you try to change something you don't like to something you do like, you make progress, even if it doesn't feel like it.

    And finding a decent therapist is definitely a big thing, like SHU said.