Friday, June 10, 2016

In the Background

I've got a handful of half-written posts this week but nothing that I actually was motivated enough to polish & post. That pretty much summarizes my life these days---good intentions, robustly diving in, and then half-hearted efforts, lack of focus, and utter inability to actually see anything through to completion. I've gotten half-written manuscripts and Aims pages and many many emails in "draft", a to-do list for both work & home that keeps getting longer and longer, laundry done but never put away, scarves & hats & gloves on the floor with the swimsuits and sunglasses, piles taller than my kids of things to "give away" that have been sitting in our bedroom for months.

I just feel really tired of pretty much everything. I want to lie on a beach, alone, for a few days (weeks?) and read books & listen to the waves & not have to do or be anything.

But since that isn't happening, I did what I do. I made yet another list. Only this one has only really easy satisfying tasks and I am working my way through them. Expense reports and purchase orders to get in before the end of the "year", plane tickets to buy, phone calls to make & emails to send, meetings to set up. Its a start.  I already feel better.

We are leaving work early today to drive 4+ hours in heavy traffic to visit my sister. My kids are over the moon excited to see their cousins again. Its also a break from having to plan & execute any weekend activities to keep the kids (and us!) occupied and distracted from whining. On the other hand, I have no idea when we are going to manage to grocery shop & food prep & make lunches & do laundry and all the other weekend tasks that we usually spread throughout Saturday & Sunday. Its just going to be a late Sunday night, I suppose.

I just spent over an hour on the phone with the school psychologist (and I wonder why I can't complete anything...). She asked me if I "had a few minutes to chat" and then proceeded to complete two different very long parent questionnaires with me (both of which I had filled out previously, for another provider) re: B. She told me she had read over his report from the hospital evaluation, but at the end of the interview she did not know that he had received the ADHD diagnosis in addition to ASD. She kept asking me "what do you want from the school? What are your concerns? Do you want an IEP? What changes do you want to see on the IEP" and I finally had to be blunt and say I had no idea, I'm not the educational specialist, we were recommended to set up an IEP but we don't know how to go about it, and we requesting the school evaluation so that you can help us! FFS woman! I told her to also speak to the KG teachers who worked with him all year to see what THEY thought would be helpful for him in the actual classroom, because, again, my only time in a KG classroom was 35 years ago when I was in KG. She sounded actually quite young & inexperienced. I'm trying not to hold that against her, because you have to start somewhere, but....

OK deep breath. And now back to the list. Or lunch. Actually, yes, lets make that lunch. 


  1. "That pretty much summarizes my life these days---good intentions, robustly diving in, and then half-hearted efforts, lack of focus, and utter inability to actually see anything through to completion." <-- Amen sister. I'm right there with you.

    I hope this weekend is rejuvenating in some way. {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

  2. Oh, wow, so much going on for you. I hope your weekend with your sister is fun and provides with you with some much-need relaxation.

  3. I feel similarly frustrated about my ability to complete things. I have all of these ideas (esp work related things) and then they just . . .sit on my list. Because when am I going to have the mental clarity / sustained time to deal with them? NEVER apparently. Sigh.

    Hope this is a calm and rejuvenating weekend for you.

  4. We've been finishing blog drafts that were last touched in ... 2011... I don't want to talk about the 5 year backlog on my actual work projects.

    Good luck with the school stuff!

  5. I want to lie on that beach with you. And I don't even like beaches. :) But maybe a cocktail, a good book, a pool, or just the sound and smell of the ocean would be nice ...

    We're going to a family reunion the weekend after we move. I honestly don't want to go. But I know we have to. It's just the the 6 hour drive, also on a weekend during which I'd like to get settled, grocery shop, etc ... just feels like too. much.

    Sending peace ...