Wednesday, February 1, 2017

What's really hard?

The point of my last post wasn't to say that you can't find this phase of earth's rotation around the sun challenging---many do, for many reasons---but that for me, calling an entire chunk of the year "hard" by default undermines the meaning of the word. Because things aren't exactly hunky-dory these days, and it has nothing to do with the weather.

Obviously, I am scared/confused/angry about what's happening in our country. I'm trying really hard to channel those emotions into productive action but its becoming truly overwhelming. I keep trying to narrow down to 2-3 key issues I want to fight for, and then something new and completely unexpected pops up and I need to add to the list. I need to figure out a good way to manage this because its going to be a long road.

One thing that helped TREMENDOUSLY was going off facebook. Its like a constant annoying noise that was distracting me but that I couldn't quite pinpoint finally, blessedly stopped. Its quieter. I also turned off news notifications on my phone so I need to go into the app on my own time to see what fresh new hell awaits us.

We are having new and repeat challenges with B and his behavior at home and fitting in at school. We saw a new therapist yesterday who specializes in kids with ADHD/ASD professionally and personally (she has a son with the diagnoses). She focuses on working with the family to come up with ways to help the child succeed, and the parents not lose their minds. She is very pragmatic  and practical, which we both appreciated. For example, we told her of a few specific frustrating moments and she walked us through what might have motivated his behavior (in terms of research/neuroscience) and then laid out strategies we could take to prevent/mitigate these types of meltdowns.

We are going back next week and our goal for this week is to take notes on B's behavior and report back any patterns or triggers we can identify. Then we will figure out some strategies, implement them---with the knowledge that they might not work, and come back again with B so she can help work with him having some common language around his issues.

I am starting to have major stress at work about my lack of funding for next year. MAJOR. I'm trying to write papers right now. My goal was to have TWO done by the end of 2016. NEITHER was submitted, and I am still trying to finish the first one. I keep thinking of more experiments to do. I know I KNOW I just need to get it submitted and the experiments can be added to the revision (if I'm lucky enough to get an R&R). Maybe I need to copy nicoleandmaggie's challenge.

In the faculty development course I'm doing, our assignment for the month is to track our time for one week, analyze it ourselves, and then design and implement "experiments" for focusing on our priorities. I started the time tracking today, for the third time (I keep starting for one day and then forgetting to continue!) and need to complete the week this time. My "experiment" will be a daily writing schedule, and since I need to present the experiment & results to the group in 3 weeks, I may be spurred to actually DO IT.

On top of it all, I'm sick. Well, I'm almost better now, but I was really sick for a few days there, and still have that awful unpredictable cough and I'm so freaking exhausted. #99problemsbutwinteraintone


  1. That therapist sounds awesome! I hope she's helpful. I also love the idea of meeting with someone to talk about how YOU handle it instead of about B's behavior. Also, the grant funding thing would scare me. I interviewed Monday for a position that's grant-funded. I wouldn't be responsible for writing the grant, but it's still nerve-wracking knowing the position is not a sure thing for future years.

  2. The therapist sounds awesome. I think it would do me a lot of good to have some to talk about parenting with. As it is, I have no one because my husband just shuts down when I try to talk about how we might better handle the kids' challenging behavior. I hope the therapist is helpful. Keep us posted!

  3. Oh my G-d, yes -- I'll have a moment where I will tell myself, X is your focus right now. But then Y pops up and I think, "Well, I have to make X and Y my focus." There is a new issue every day, sometimes several in a day.

    Sending good thoughts for the writing.

  4. Feel better.
    BEING SICKS SUCKS. Right there with you, it's been a sick January (I seem to remember similar thing happened last year, maybe it's just all TOO MUCH this time of year!)

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