Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Yellow Carnations and Red Roses

The ugliest combination of flowers ever and the live for f&*ng ever to boot.

A couple of weekends ago, G & B went to the store and came home with flowers "for Valentine's Day" and those were what my son chose. It was so sweet of him! And yet, when I saw those flowers still fresh and bright sitting on our table yesterday I just noticed how hideous they were and wished G had talked him into some tulips (my favorite!) and wondered if it was too soon to throw them out.

Yes, I am was a total b. I was in SUCH a foul mood yesterday, it wasn't until I caught those ugly thoughts (far uglier than the ugliest flowers!) that I realized how extremely negative my thinking had turned. We all have those days, the "I hate everyone and everything" kind of days, right? They pop up, seemingly out of nowhere, but actually triggered by constant little annoyances/disappointments/ anxieties combined with a night or two of poor sleep for good measure.

Thankfully I recognized it before taking it out on my family. I asked G to clean up the kitchen and put the kids to bed, and went to bed very early. Woke up early and had a nice run with a friend. And came into work early to cross some things of the list. I feel MUCH better now. I only hate MOST PEOPLE and MOST THINGS, but that's normal, right? hah.


  1. Lol I feel that way whenever my daughter makes me an origami thing or writes me a special note. On one hand, I am completely touched and my cold as ice heart is warmed by her gestures. OTOH OMG WE HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF MUST THROW IT AWAY!!!!

    Unrelated, I also have periods where I am just a total b. I had one of these periods about two weeks ago and I was just like, family: I am so sorry. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I feel like I am going to explode at someone today for no reason, so if that happens, please accept my apologies in advance. It helped a little. I think.

    Feel better!!

  2. Thank you for sharing. Goodness I feel the same way slot of the time ��

  3. Put those suckers in 2 separate vases. That's an obnoxious color combo, but either on alone is lovely.

  4. LOL I have bitchy periods, now more frequent and closer together. That drop in estrogen reveals just how angry and stressed I have always been.

    Yesterday, my middle kid basically exploded in frustration over having to do math and my husband yelling at him. My kid punched the floor (carpeted), twice. Now his hand is (mildly) swollen. My husband says he doesn't understand how anyone can be so angry. In contrast, I completely understand. I always feel like punching someone in the face.

    I even wrote and submitted for publication some raw poetry about it. It's nice to have it on the outside.

    Anyway, this just to say that you're not alone, sister. Hang in there.

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