Last week was terrible you guys. I don't know what came over me, but I had ZERO motivation to do anything. For the first time ever, I left a whole week of clinic charts undone through the weekend. I let deadlines pass for manuscript reviews I had agreed to complete. I did not move forward on ANY of my long term projects and goals. I just did the bare minimum to get through the week. Then I ate and drank too much and stayed up too late all weekend because I didn't even want to follow my own rules for staying healthy.
Of course, now I'm even further behind and more exhausted and trying very hard not to be too hard on myself. I finished ALL the patient charts today. One paper review suddenly didn't need me anymore (the upside of procrastinating!) and I did the other one. I made some headway on a chapter I'm writing with a resident, and planned out time to do the other stuff (revise a paper, submit an IRB protocol) though I've got SEVEN clinic sessions this week so...not a lot of extra time available.
On the plus side: I've been reading a LOT of books (I finished the Vanishing Half instead of doing charts Friday afternoon, it was FANTASTIC). I did clean and organize and purge in the living room and kids room on Saturday. I made it out for a run with a friend Sunday morning, even though we both just...stopped running 2/3 of the way through and couldn't make ourselves restart. And I'm here. I wrote this. Its something.
You know what? Sometimes it's not a matter of will or laziness, it's just a matter of can't. You still kick ass, and don't you forget it.
ReplyDeleteSome days and weeks are like that. We ARE right IN THE MIDDLE of so much pandemic and election grief, so it's ok--hopefully! Love and kindness to you.
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