Sometimes you can lie to yourself so well that you really truly believe it. You go about your days giving it nary a thought, which proves to yourself & others that you are "over it" and "OK with things". And then something rips the scar open and you can't breathe and are hiding in your office with the door barred shut, typing away the tears pricking the back of your eyes.
A colleague, a one-time friend, who was having a bit of difficulty trying to conceive around the same time we started and was a great source of comfort at the time...just announced his wife's third pregnancy. Everyone is congratulating & joking & slapping on the back. It only got louder & more jovial when another colleague, belly bursting with her third & fourth children (whose second was born a month before L) joins the group. I just...can't.
I really truly thought I'd moved on from this long-ago dream. But no. Buried, but not dead.