As an objective outside observer, I'd probably
characterize my behavior over the past few weeks in the unflattering
terms of lazy, whiny, and indulgent. Yes, I was actually sick for a
couple of weeks but I stretched that out into a full month of
time-wasting, navel-gazing, and complaining. As sick and tired as I am
of being sick and tired, I'm actually even MORE sick of listening to my
own relentless sighing and complaining. I'm sure poor G would agree.
Its a fresh month and a fresh season, and its time for a change. Sunny crisp spring days just do not lend themselves to misery & woe the way slushy gray late-winter does.
I
want to spend this month DOING, rather than THINKING. There is a
backlog of work & home projects, and a string of fun family
activities that just need to happen. Taxes,
organizing/inventory-ing/buying spring clothes, moving my work office,
writing a pilot grant, planning some travel etc...
I mentioned feeling
stuck in the metaphorical sense, but I've been
feeling stuck physically as well. Too overcome by inertia to actually
move forward in anything. Utter lack of motivation. And thus 99%
of the change has got to happen in my head. I vow to refrain-- for the
entire month of April--from uttering the words "I'm soooo tired" or any
variation thereof. No speaking of exhaustion, fatigue, weariness, or
sickness. Also, no litanies of the children's sleep or behavior
shortfalls or the well-known and documented challenges of medicine or
research or dog-ownership or city living.
Fake it 'til I make it? Or at least get my damn taxes done.
I don't like the "fake it" approach. But I think that some good comes of cognitive behavior therapy ... which to me, is basically a way to help us to adjust our behaviors by becoming mindful of them. :)
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling better soon!
Hmm....maybe I'll join you. I'm sooooo tired is pretty much a daily utterance. I wonder what would happen if I just stopped saying that. ANYWAY, I admire your moxie, as always, and I hope it's an amazing month.
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