Thursday, August 14, 2014

Frivolity

I really love clothes and shopping. There I said it. Maybe a grown woman with children and an important career and responsibilities should be above such frivolities, but buying and wearing nice clothes makes me happy.

In the past two years I've completely revamped my entire wardrobe. All my pants, shirts, and most of the dresses in my closet were bought in 2013 or 2014. Now I don't fret when I have a week of call coming up---I know I have at least 7 hospital-appropriate outfits ready to go. I don't have to "save" my more professional outfits for important meetings or lectures, because almost all of my work clothes fit that category now. I also have a selection of practical and comfortable weekend-wear and a couple of nicer things for the occasional evening out.

Having clothes that fit and flatter has been extremely helpful  in coming to terms with my changed body. When my clothes were tight or clingy, I just felt so aware of my poochy belly. With more structured tops, and larger sizes, my clothes skim my body, hide the pooch and erase it from my memory. I even got higher waisted swim bottoms, that cover the whole situation up so I don't have to feel self-conscious when I accompany L to swim lessons. Everything fits. I don't have to deal with the frustration of pulling on my favorite skirt or dress and realizing it no longer zips or buttons. No more muffin tops or straining seams creating discomfort and distractions.

This is huge for me. I went through a long phase of really hating my body, grieving the body I used to have, and seriously contemplating saving up for plastic surgery. That loathing is completely gone. Maybe it was time that did the trick, but I really do think the clothes are part of it.

I rarely pay full price for anything. I like when the whole store has a sale (i.e. 50% of everything) rather than shopping the sales racks for leftovers (I wear a popular size that tends to be sold out); also when items are on sale, they may be "final sale" and thus non-returnable. No way. I made myself a budget this year and I've been adding every purchase to my spreadsheet. It was hard to  figure out what to cap my budget at---what is a reasonable amount to spend on clothes?

Where do I shop?
  • Ann Taylor Loft (though I've recently cut them out, the quality has recently become terrible. I had two sweaters get runs & holes after only 1-2 washes this winter. I ordered some summer clothes recently that ALL went back because the fabric was so thin/cheap/wrinkly). Also, their vanity sizing is the worst I've seen. Only when they have the 50% of everything sales.
  • Boden (somewhat pricy, but generally good quality, and excellent return policy); one drawback is that their clothes run really long, so if they don't have a petite option (and they often don't) I have to skip it. And I'm not that short (I'm 5'3" and have a short torso but longer legs. I often can't do petite pants/skirts/dresses in certain stores, since they are too short). The only skirts that work from Boden are called "mini-skirts" and they hit right to my knees. The biggest sales they have are 30% off.
  • Gap (their fitted button downs are awesome and I have a cute shirt-dress from there) 
  • J Crew Factory (I only order from them when I'm about to travel somewhere that has a store, since we do not have one in the city; I often have to return their stuff since I haven't quite got a handle on the sizing). Only with 50% of everything sales. 
  •  I still have a lot of Old Navy, and H&M stuff, but I'm definitely steering away from the super-cheap side, unless its something trendy I want to try out (I have a few pairs of bright-colored Old Navy Rockstar jeans, and 2 pairs of the Diva pants, which fit pretty much like the J Crew Minnies for $15 vs. $90).
  • Most of my pants are the Express Editor, though I own and like nothing else from that store. They are ridiculously long and only come in one length, but I get them hemmed.
  • EShakti, an online-only store, has amazing dresses that all include POCKETS (I have a whole rant about pockets, and how the lack thereof in women's clothes is most certainly an oppressive tool of the patriarchy, but I'll leave that for another day...). There return policy isn't great, I was  lucky I picked a size that seems to fit me perfectly. You can customize the dresses for an extra fee but I've never done that. Also awesome, you put your height in so it isn't too short/long and you can control the length of the dress (i.e. put a taller height in so you get a below the knee height in an "over the knee" dress)
  • Surprisingly, I've found 2 amazing dresses from Land's End of all places (though please, for the love, stay away from the pants...while they are trying hard to make their line younger and more fashion-forward, the pants are still marketed to the 60+ set)
  • I've tried to find something I liked at Anthropologie but I just...can't. Lots of things look cute from afar, and then you find some wacky detail that makes it completely unwearable (cute top, oh, its completely backless). I really do like some of their dresses, but they are WAY too pricey for something that is so unconventional you can't pull off wearing it every week. 
  • I have a big shopping cart full of dresses from ModCloth. My sister tells me they are good quality and flattering. I haven't pulled the trigger yet. 
Anywhere new I should try? Where do you guys shop for work clothes or fun clothes?

18 comments:

  1. Oh no, don't tell me that about loft! That's like 80% of my wardrobe! And I have a big shopping date coming up with my fashionable friend. The gap we go to never has my size in stock. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On-line, friend, on-line. I go into a store to shop maybe twice a year (I may pop in to return something on my way somewhere else more often). Its all on-line.

      Delete
    2. But nothing ever fits when I buy it online (except maternity clothing) and then it's a pain to send back. I still need to send back the size 8 Chacos that are too big to Zappos... if I can't get *SHOES* right without trying them on...

      Delete
    3. Maybe I've had too much practice, but when I buy on-line more things fit than don't for me. If not, yeah, its a hassle to have to return stuff. Shoes are MUCH less likely to fit than clothes! I have bought 4 pairs of black boots that all had to go back. I just purchased #5 today, we'll see, I need a pair before fall.

      Delete
    4. Oh, and some places, like Boden, tell you the actual measurements of the item...if you know your measurements (or can quickly do them...I did mine last year and have them in a file to refer to), you can figure out your sizing.
      I also always read reviews. Loft, ON/Gap/Banana, Boden, ModCLoth, Zappos/Amazon for shoes...they all have reviews that are SO helpful. reviews saying things "run small" etc... help with sizing.

      Delete
  2. Also, I should add that for fit and quality I really like Brooks Brothers. Especially during their 2x/year 60-70% off sales.

    Unfortunately the dry-clean only aspect doesn't fit with my current busy life-style, and I am ashamed to say that I have 3 pairs of pants from them that I haven't gotten hemmed even though I've owned them for 3 years (Brooks Brothers will do the hemming for you for free, but you have to be able to pick up the pants from the same store, and I have to travel to get to a BB so decided to pay to get them hemmed at home, and then never get around to it. I've had a baby since getting those pants.).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No dry clean. Also, fit is SO individual, especially for pants, as you would imagine very few people have the same waist/hip/butt/thigh proportions. Once I find pants that fit me I tend to stick with them, because its SO hard.

      Delete
    2. But the pants don't STAY fitting because their stupid styles change, especially when skinny pants are "in". I'm going to have to try Express because your complaints and sizing do sound similar to mine. Except I'd probably never bother getting them hemmed so they'd just join the too-long Brooks Brothers pants on their dusty shelf. On the plus side, current grunge styles mean I get to keep wearing my super torn perfectly fitting ancient GAP jeans. Maybe by the time those styles change, tapering will be gone too.

      Delete
    3. This is true. The Express Editors seem to not change much, i.e. they are wider/trouser pants. I do like a slimmer look, so I actually didn't wear them very much this year, but I figure they'll be back in style soon so I will hold onto them!

      Delete
    4. Hm... Gap has some pretty good prices online for their premium pants... I loved and wore some of their business casual pants (circa 2005) until they literally fell apart (with holes and everything). If only I could be assured that I was still an 8A (or, to give myself room to grow with DC2 weaning, 10A)... I can't remember if I've tried them on since then and they looked terrible or if I just haven't ever been able to find any in those sizes. Pants shopping is my least favorite shopping thing ever. It would be much more fun to be able to stick to tops and dresses with my shopping buddy...

      Delete
    5. if you give them your email (i know people don't want to do that for various reasons), you can also know when they have sales. Gap recently had 40% everything. I didn't buy anything because I didn't need anything, but if I'm in the market, I'll put things in my shopping cart and not buy until I get the email for a promotion.

      Delete
  3. Yeah, I hear you. I need to do some wardrobe updating, too. First I didn't because I was TRYING to get pregnant, and the I WAS pregnant, and then I was breastfeeding and about ten pounds underweight...and then came last year when my normal clothes fit again but are old, and now I've gained weight, so maybe it's time...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm a big fan of banana republic online. Sizing is pretty consistent and they usually have a sale. I don't usually return stuff so not sure how easy it is.

    ReplyDelete

  5. Me and my boyfriend were seriously in love for 3 years and we were planning to get married but one day he came to my house and told me he was no longer interested in our relationship simply because he was dating another lady who promise to buy him a car and to sponsor their wedding. And i suffered a heartbreak for five months and i was not tired of loving him. One faithful day as i was browsing through the internet, i saw a testimony on how a spell caster helped a man to get back his wife after two years of losing his wife because he was no longer having a job. through this Email robinsonbuckler@yahoo. com, i sent an email to Mr robinsonbuckler contact him for help and surprisingly my boy friend came back 3 days after the help of the spell caster. and now we are happily back together. He is the most trusted, genuine and real love spell caster, call him +1-971-512-6745

    ReplyDelete
  6. timely post given my recent one! it makes me want to do some serious online damage. i feel like i have trouble creating a wardrobe that works together when i don't to really careful planning/obsessing though so i'm going to make myself take my time :)

    i am sooo going to check out the cheap version of the j crew minnies. i love the minnie pants but the price tag is always hard to justify unless there's a sale.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh, and other places to shop: MADEWELL if you haven't checked it out yet. love it. to me it's jcrew meets anthro in many ways.

      Delete
  7. I LOVE Express Editor pants- they are my work staples. They do need hemming, though. ModCloth dresses are great, but beware- they're often shorter than you'd think. I buy most of my tops and summer dresses at Banana Republic Factory stores. They're about the same quality as LOFT, but the price is worth it for a top I'll only wear a few seasons. (I agree about sweater quality- it's always worth it to pay more for a sweater. Very disappointed in Loft there.) I also shop at Marshalls and TJ Maxx a lot- I'm much better at finding things there now that I'm secure with my style choices. I also use Stitch Fix for high-quality items and a little extra fashion push.

    ReplyDelete
  8. No other suggestions, but just wanting to say that wanting to look good and that making you feel good is not frivolous! Being happy with that part of your life extends to the other parts too! I think we often feel guilty for spending the money on ourselves, but it's SO worth it! YOU'RE worth it :D

    ReplyDelete