Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Off Kilter

I'm feeling physically and mentally off this week. I saw the psychiatrist on Thursday and she had me increase the P@xil dose, so that may be part of it, but honestly, I was feeling kind of weird before that, too. Maybe I'm just getting back to back minor long-lasting illnesses? Tis the season, after all.

I also think this back injury---and specifically the inability to exercise regularly in my preferred form---has started a vicious cycle of bad habits. Not getting up early to work out leads to variable bedtimes which leads to late night snacking, and also coping with the whole suckiness of the situation in non-optimal ways.  I've gained some weight, stopped meditating (because sitting in any position was painful and distracting), am spending way too much time on social media and games, online shopping, and overall just don't feel completely in control of things.

I keep trying to get up early to catch up on things (home and work) and just keep snoozing. And I can't really stay up much past the kids bedtime, either. I feel like there is so much to do in the next 3 nights. G has really been pulling the weight for both of us these days, and I really hate to leave him in this position for too long, because everyone has their limits.


  1. Have you tried meditating lying down? I like to use the Headspace app when I go to bed. I know the recommended position is sitting, but lying down works for me. I think a comfortable position is more important than the “correct” position.

    1. Well of course I CAN do that, my issue is that I just fell out the habit. I will definitely try that once I get back in track.

  2. I agree with the lying down. You could even do it under a light blanket.

  3. Ana, I hear you. There are so many life hacks to help solve every solution, but those don't always work when you feel like you are spinning, or walking under jello. (Both describe my own "off kilter states.) I hope you are able to find a way back to center (physically or emotionally or both) so you can rebuild those great habits that were working well for you!