Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Where is my easy button?

Its one of those ultra-cold days where my face hurts. Thankfully I had a cancellation and a no-show (because no one apparently wants to leave their house and have their face hurt) so I'm drinking tea and catching up. I can't believe my last post was 13 days ago. I'll blame my annoying upper-to-lower respiratory illness that hit me right after the last post and is STILL lingering, but at least I'm starting to get my energy levels back to normal.

I'm still feeling a bit down in the dumps, despite the glitter and twinkle of the holidays and our impending trip. These things are still going on. And no matter how much I try to give myself a break on the other stuff, I just can't seem to catch one.

Example, that inspired the title of this post: Last Friday. End of a long week, time to relax and get some Fredagsmys going. I was just finishing up patient calls and about to start planning for the next week when I got a call from the aftercare that L had thrown up. So I leave immediately to pick the boys up, and L walks over to me and throws up again. We slowly make our way home and I decide that pizza and movie would be the way to go, and the boys were happy because they adore their screen time!

First of all, we couldn't find a movie they wanted to watch. So we decided they could watch some shows. B got to choose first and L went along with some insipid Mickey Clubhouse Christmas jamboree. Then 22 minutes later when it was L's turn to choose, it became an all out war, because B wouldn't agree to anything. And then there was shouting and hitting. And 20+ minutes of B stomping around, refusing to watch, refusing to do anything else, and refusing to get the hell away from the rest of us who were trying to relax and watch a show (L) or down some cocktails (G and I).

This scenario is repeated in our house over and over again every weekend. Another example: homework. Every day with the freaking homework. Do you know how hard it is to coax a surly kid with ADHD through nearly an hour of homework daily  (math sheet, science packet section, 20 minutes of reading + writing sentences about said reading)? Its fucking hard, especially when there is also another kid that needs to do his daily reading (its a 5 page beginner book but it takes him a while to sound out the words and he  likes to practice over and over which I am certainly trying to encourage). Oh and the daily shit-show that is dinner and making them eat their veggies and L to take his medicine. And that is BEFORE doing teeth and baths which they also complain about and fight through EVERY. SINGLE. TIME as if its brand new that yes they have to brush ALL their teeth every day and wash their bodies once in a while! So for fucks sake when Friday rolls around I just want them to watch a goddamn movie and leave me the fuck alone for 90 minutes.

Sigh. There is also more than the usual BS going on at work and I"m still having the back pain and can't do much to work out and I'm sure that is all contributing to my attitude. I have an appointment with the psychiatrist tomorrow where I was initially going to discuss weaning OFF the SSRI but now I"m thinking I may need something stronger. I better hit post before I start ranting again...


  1. So sorry. This is how my life feels. We have kids that are almost 4, 2 & 2 and one of them has significant disability (cp, non verbal). Just picked both little ones up from school with URI and according to school policy they can’t go back til Friday at the earliest. One of them didn’t even have a fever once we got home. The daily get ready, school/work, home, dinner, bedtime routine is such a slog. And making lunches and snacks for school. Ugh. Homework on top of that sounds awful!!

    I too am on a SSRI for something that was “situational” but it’s hard to imagine the situation ever consistently getting easier.

    One thing I think about is how this compares to a year ago (much better - a year ago things were truly awful). I hope you are just going through a rough patch & even if it’s never 100% rainbows and unicorns, it will be easier than it is now.


  2. That is ton of homework for kids who are so little. Most teachers around here say to return the work with a note from the parent if it's taking more than 20 minutes. Is B in first grade? (I confess I am forgetting at the moment) Seems like marginal educational value, particularly given all of the fighting.

    1. By the way, I appreciate you may not always be up for writing, but I always look forward to your posts.

  3. I second the comment from Anon above on the homework. That sounds like WAY too much. Also, does your husband help with this at all? I can't imagine doing all that after coming home from the hospital. It sounds positively awful.

  4. I totally regret the energy (read: yelling) I put in to when my daughter was in elementary school involving homework. Ugh! I remember 3rd and 6th being especially awful. If I could do it over I would have left it up to her. It would not have affected her "grades" or being promoted. Anyway she is now in high school and since 7th grade she has been managing mostly independently....f*cking miracle really. So yah that stupid young persons homework stuff, I'm really sorry.
    Anon in mass

  5. I am so not looking forward to homework battles, my son is only 5 now but I anticipate similar problems. I would think you can get reduced homework with a 504 or IEP. I don't know if I'll actually follow through when it comes time, but I think good family relationships are more important than homework getting done. I am seriously considering not making him do homework. Oppositional and ADHD = not fun! I'm sure you're doing the best you can, surely it'll get easier as he grows. Good luck.

  6. Ask/push about the amount of homework assigned. Our district is (not fast enough for us) moving away from elementary school homework since it seems that study after study proves that the homework doesn't improve performance. Sneakers