Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Brief Reprieve

Guys, its still pretty bad. I keep waking up at night feeling extremely sad & anxious. The past 2 nights I woke up twice; once around 2:30-3 and then again around 4:30. After the 4:30 wake up, I can't get back to sleep. Yet I felt too weird/shaky to go to the gym or meditate or do anything really besides scroll through my phone.

I feel jittery & nauseous, its hard to eat anything. I'm hungry, but the thought of eating almost anything makes me feel sick, and the smell of most food makes me feel sick. Sort of morning-sickness-like, but no happy secret going on here.

Yesterday I had to take B to an amusement park for a camp field trip. I was dreading it, didn't think I could manage, with the heat and the nausea and the overall awfulness...but I went, and I'm so glad I did. It was really fun, and kept me out of my head and in the moment. We stayed in the water park and the little kid area, where he could go on all the puke-inducing rides by himself while I sat in the shade and waved & smiled. He is so independent, he loved going by himself. He was marvelously well behaved and cheerful. Even the 90 minute bus ride each way was fun---on the way up I chatted with other moms, on the way back, I entertained 4 6-year-old boys by looking up knock-knock jokes on my phone (and they enhanced them by adding "poop" to each punchline)

Of course, today I'm back at work, and nothing is fun and I'm NOT in the moment. I made it through clinic and finished my notes & phone calls and now I just want to go home. My lunch is sitting in my bag and it just doesn't appeal, though my stomach is growling.

Thanks for reading and offering support. It means a lot!


  1. This sounds horrible! I've only had a few bouts of real anxiety (that my therapist said merited medication). They ended pretty quickly, but they wer so rough! I'm imagining even worse, and longer-lasting. Ugh! How long until it he's better?

  2. I take citalopram and if I forget to eat breakfast before taking it, I get very nauseous. Nausea can be so awful.

    Also can you cut the pills in half or start with a smaller dosage for a few weeks?

    Also have you had your magnesium level tested? When I'm going thru an anxious spell, I take a little magnesium powder. Be sure to get the flavored one though or you'll have to add stevia or some other sweetener.

  3. Keep on keeping on! Hope things get better soon.

  4. Hang in there. I'm no doc but I remember thinking about cutting the dose down and then going back up but it seemed that since I was already in the worst part I didn't want to do it again, so I just stayed with it. I think I also ran this by my doc although it's hazy. 3 diff ADs I tried over 2 bouts with ppd gave me insomnia including lex (although not as bad as with the others) doc had me on which really helped with the insomnia. I found it easy to drop once I was done with ADs.

  5. My sister had a similar experience starting Paxil, and it did get better. I hope it gets better for you too, and that eventually you start feeling better. Finding a med that works for you can be hard, but they can be so helpful if one works. I hope you get there soon. I really do.

  6. I hope you hang on and feel better soon.
    And yes, little boys and their poop jokes! Though to be fair to the little boys, in my house the grown up boy has been known to tell such jokes too...

  7. from someone with SSRI-experience (both taking and prescribing them): you should be feeling better in the next weeks, hang in there. and kudos for getting help and giving this option a try, for many of my patients (and myself), it has been a quality-of-life & life-safer.